Questions of the Week or whatever they are called

Never let it be said that I’m not one to pitch in. When there’s pitching to be done, I’m in. (Except tents. I don’t get tents)

1.What’s the best non-musical festival/showcase you have/would attend?
2. What’s your best tip for keeping cool?
3. Who do you most sound like (normal speaking voice)?
4. Make up a word. Come on, you can do it. Now what does it mean?
5. Are you a high tide or a low tide kind of person? (No point googling, it’s an esoteric thing I made up.)

57 thoughts on “Questions of the Week or whatever they are called

  1. Aah, log on and find distracting questions – need distraction – well done That Man!
    1. Do not attend non-musical festivals – wouldn’t mind hanging round Hay-on-Wye one year, though.
    2. Hot peppermint tea (or: stay inside watching footie on the telyx and slurping Hefeweizen long tall beer)
    3. Like ME. Is this a trick question?
    4. Zzzjah! Means bedtime/time to get up/ stop messing me around/anything you want, really
    5. Low tide. This has made me think of a book I recently read about a weird kid somewhere near Seattle making all sorts of exciting marine discoveries on the bay where he lives – just can’t remember title/author

  2. 1- Worstead arts festival (but it does have music)
    2- swimming in the sea here in Norfolk – cool- it’s bloody freezing.
    3- not like the voice in my own head – that’s for sure.
    4- mastaboratal – it’s art produced by people like Jeff Koons or Damian Hurst.. or indeed it’s the Artist themselves…
    5- low tide – pretty calm on the surface.. but deep dark and pulling in all sorts of messy directions underneath.

  3. 1 Hatfield House Festival of Gardening. My parents (when they lived nearby) would throw a party for their best friends plus any of their children they could rope in (not me, I loved it and always went so I didn’t need roping) and we’d all go for a nose round the glorious HH gardens – well, the women nosed, while the men sat round hoping it would soon be lunchtime. Then we’d all go back to my parents’ house for the amazing feast my mother had prepared earlier. It must have happened last weekend, but of course neither of my parents are around any more.

    2 Live in Scotland

    3 My sister

    4 Scrangefurtle. It’s when you dig in your compost heap to see whether the mango seeds have germinated.

    5 Low tide. Rockpools.

  4. 1. I always think it must be quite fun to be an indie filmmaker hanging out at Sundance.

    2. Er, male pattern baldness? Oh no, that only works for keeping you flippin’ freezing in the winter.

    3. Hm, not a clue. Apart from my twin brother, but he probably doesn’t count.

    4. Smackillage: That satisfying moment when the woman doing her make-up next to you on the Tube pokes her eye out with a mascara brush as the carriage lurches round a corner.

    5. Low tide. No question.

  5. 1.The event that impressed me the most in my life was the 1972 Tutankhamen Exhibition at the British Museum.

    2. Stay in the shade, open a bottle of chilled white wine and read a good book.

    3. My Mum or maybe my sister.

    4. Crapnostication. It is what lots of media “pundits” do for a living. They spout utter crap in an authoritative manner and convince far too many people.

    5. Definitely low tide, it is when you can find all the treasures and interesting things.

  6. 1. Any book fair. The only one I get to regularly is the Feria del Libro in Madrid. I used to work for a publishing house and still know a few people so I get a chance to hang out with minor literary celebs which is fun.
    2. Gazpacho. Gallons of the stuff. (Recipe available on request)
    3. My dad: different accent but same intonation.
    4. Cosmospurts – it doesn’t mean a thing but was the name of the only “band” I was in. We were awful and thankfully never recorded a note!
    5. On the beach – low tide, rock pools, strolling and stuff. On the prom. High tide, preferably with breakers.

  7. 1. Good question. Port Isaac literary festival really appeals, but never been. And I’d love to go to Burning Man, but never will. Never been to the Edinburgh Fringe either, which is a poor showing after four years as a drama student.

    2. Like Debby, I’m a fan of peppermint tea on a hot day, except, er, cold.

    3. A slightly less camp Neil Tennant

    4. Not my word, but one my brother invented as a small child. You know sometimes in a hotel, instead of a proper bed, you get twin beds pushed together? And you know how there’s sometimes a small gap between the mattresses? That’s called a compony.

    5. Low tide I guess, although you can only swim here at high tide. And I like the tidiness of high tide too (and the way that works as a pun).

  8. 1. Does N’Awlins Mardi Gras count? That was pretty ace, even if I did only go for the day … from the UK! No? OK then, the Mini Thirty Year Celebration at Silverstone in 1989 was pretty good fun, too, even if we did ultimately fail to gain immortality as a Guiness Book Of Records entry.

    2. Sit in my office after the heating goes off: it’s mostly subterranean, and constantly cooler than the rest of the house in the summer. (Warmer than the rest of the house in winter too, handily.)

    3. The annoying loud-mouthed tw@t two rows behind you on the bus/train that never, EVER shuts up!

    4. Metallurgy. What? No it isn’t! The one you’re thinking of is pronounced with a soft ‘g’. This is pronounced with a hard ‘g’, and is the name of the affliction given to middle-aged men who should know better, but still feel the urge to stretch faded black T-shirts over their bellies, and go and headbang at Donington every summer.

    5. High tide. In a most un-DsD-like admission, I like it ’cause of its cleansing quality: if it isn’t washing away the mess underneath, it’s at least covering it up!!

  9. 1) Oktoberfest in Munich.

    2) Nothing like chugging ice water if handy.

    3) Dead seriously, Linda Blair in the Exorcist. My speaking voice is that awful.

    4) I make them up all the time, not on purpose. Now that i’m supposed to do it on purpose, i can’t really think of one.

    5) Well, I’m a landlubber, so i guess would normally go for low tide. But i’ll take a cue from Blondie and take the high tide just to be perverse.

      • Thanks for that, Blimpy, never heard that one! I don’t think i ever even knew that Blondie’s was a cover. Mitch must be rolling his eyes.

      • There’s your cue, Blimpy. I find it hilarious that i’m always ragging on the young kids i know that listen to hip hop but don’t know the old funk it’s sampled from. But i have no idea about the 50’s music my 70’s rock comes from.

      • Not rolling my eyes at all. I have a very good version of this by John Holt from the early 70s on Trojan

  10. 1. I once went to a massive dog show (i was after a rare breed) – it was like stepping into some bizarre cult, just utterly freaky to experience first hand
    2. Live in Scotland
    3. Rowley Berkin QC
    4. Flitange – it’s when you experience the inability to choose which movie to watch, but in a slightly french way. Staring at the dvd shelf “uuurrrr………ummmmm….urrr… flitange!!”
    5. Low tide is the utter best, I’m a glass low-tidey typa guy.

    Fab eotwqs tinny! Thanks for the food for thought.

  11. 1. The Calaveras Grape Stomp (tho’ there is some music) in Murphys , California. Wonderful little town , usually excellent fall weather & nearly 20 wine tasting rooms in much less than a mile. What’s not to like?

    2. Water me down. Any Sierra lake or stream does nicely.

    3. I just don’t know.

    4. Flurf universal for a goofy error.

    5. Coming in just after low tide. I like to watch it work it’s way towards me over part of the day.

  12. 1. I like Chilli festivals – quite a decent local one in Frome last year – but the most fun is the Salzsaumerfest, the annual summer festival in Grafenau, the little town in the Bayerischer Wald which we go to at least once a year. Lots of beer, Bratwurst, Schienshaxen and Blaskapellemusik, plus loads of stalls and activities on traditional rural crafts. I’ll take some photos this year and post them…

    2. Try not to move much.

    3. Have spent decades trying not to think about this, as whenever I hear myself on an answering machine it sounds ghastly, so I take comfort in the fact that FrogPrincess compared my voice on the first Radio Abahachi podcast to Oliver Postgate’s.

    4. Damn, there’s a word that I invented a few years’ ago and have been trying to popularise, and now I can’t remember it. Mrs Abahachi and I have been trying to force the German cycling fraternity to adopt ‘Bergfahrad’ rather than the current ‘mountain bike’, if that counts.

    5. High tide, the higher the better, preferably with giant waves crashing over the seafront.

    • the German cycling fraternity
      The mental pictures of rows of liederhosen clad bicyclists stretching for miles along English country lanes holding up caravan drivers scares me a little bit.

      • I like the idea of liederhosen = song trousers

        There’s probably a single German word for “force the German cycling fraternity to adopt”, but my German isn’t good enough to work it out.

      • Sorry guys, it’s more along the lines of ‘deutsche Radfahrerschaft zur Anwendung erzwingen’…

        To make up for being such a spoilsport, here’s some singing trousers for you

  13. I’m with Aba on the voice thing, never felt really comfortable with it but doing a radio show for 7 years forced me to deal with it and appreciate it more. I can think of several times in my career where it’s stood me in good stead, you’ve probably heard that yanks love English accents, ’tis true, I could point to several situations where it’s opened doors that otherwise should have remained shut.
    When it gets too hot you either open a window, notch up the A/C or put the top down.
    Tinny: Your going to Burning Man would be a great idea, it’s almost a local event for me & Finny so we could have a ‘far west social’. For me ‘Festival in the Desert’ in Mali would do the trick, I’d try to ignore the music.
    I’m usually never at a loss for words but with this I seem to be…..
    I’ll go with Amylee, Blondie comes to mind,

    The tide is high but I’m holding on
    I’m gonna be your number one
    I’m not the kind of guy who gives up just like that
    Oh, no

    • Do you and Fintan actually go to Burning Man? You could have probably talked me into it a few decades ago, but i’m way too old now. I stopped dropping acid decades ago too. I do know one guy who went, but he was young and game enough for multiple chemical cocktails and group sex.

      • Amy – Though I live a mere 60 miles from the burning man site I’ve never been. Lots of my friends have & some have grown children who are on the organizing committees & have gone to great lengths to entice me out. However when I was much younger I made my living for awhile working in far desert locales & spent way too much time in adverse conditions to be lured to the playa. You can’t keep the alkali from seeping in to your every pore. Give me some place green every time.

      • Fintan

        I would have been well game for it when i was 18. But the stories this guy brought back of his weekend there made me realize i was officially an old fart. And i was in my late 30’s then.

      • Thats me too. Not so much too old as too soft. (The acid and group sex parts don’t appeal, but if there was a communal dropbox or something that needed setting up I’d be first in!)

      • I wrote a dissertation on Burning Man when I was at uni. Something about liminal spaces and Victor Turner’s four stages of social drama. I like the ethos of it – that there are no spectators, everyone’s a performer. Whether I’d actually enjoy that in practice, I’m not so sure.

      • Yeah, that liminal spaces and stages of social drama thing. That’s what i was going to say.

        We should have our own Burning Man. Would it be the same with comfy chairs and a buffet lunch?

      • Well, if you want a burning man there’s always the Wickerman Festival here in Dumfries and Galloway at the end of July.

  14. @Maki – Mrs Panther says she would very much like a Gazpacho recipe. She wanted to make some last week, but couldn’t quite get to grips with it, she made a cold potato soup instead, which was still pretty tasty!

    1. I love the “hanabi matsuri” in Japan which are all the fireworks festivals in the summer. People put on their summer kimonos, there’s plenty of beer and the fireworks are always incredible.

    2. Lots of iced tea

    3. Well, most ‘Spillers have probably heard my chavvy Southern brogue by now on the old podcasts, so you tell me??!

    4. as both myself and Mrs Panther aren’t great at each others languages we are always making up words as a necessity of communication……can’t think of any off the top of my head though…sorry

    5. High tide. It covers all the things that don’t want to be seen

  15. This is my fourth time of trying to post answers to this!

    1. Rye Lane, Peckham on a sunny Saturday morning. All those languages and cultures rubbing along.

    2. Ear Grey Tea.

    3. The bloke who used to do the speaking clock on the telephone.

    4. pisstaka. Which refers to the “King’s New Clothes” school of art. Very similar to sameshane’s.

    5. Used to be high tide, but took a course in anger management and stopped riding my motorcycles.

  16. Oooh, well done Tinny.

    1. Some sort of beer festival, maybe the Oktoberfest. Don’t mind as long as there is beer.

    2. Run cold water across your wrists, palms facing upwards.

    3. Dunno. Probably my mum, sort of Kent meets Gloucestershire. Oooooh arrr. (Hers was the Kent, mine the Gloucestershire).

    4. Plumbounciful This is how we used to describe my best friend, I can’t remember who made it up.

    5. Low tide so I can paddle.

  17. 1. Look away, vegetarians! La Fete de Saint-Martin, early November in the Ajoie, northern part of Canton Jura in Switzerland. Traditionally, this was pig-slaughtering time, and therefore time to consume all the non-preservable bits of the animal. Over time, this has turned into a traditional nine-course menu, including a pork soup, pork in aspic, boudin noir (blood sausage), atriaux (kind of pork faggots), roast pork, choucroute (pickled cabbage with ham, pork and smoked sausage), crème brûlée (often pork flavoured!), tarte à la crème (a baked cream tart which is, in this case, not sweet), and chtriflattes (correct spelling; spiral doughnuts with vanilla cream), all with appropriate veg. There are also rules on what and when you can drink.
    2. Open all the windows, sit in the shade, drink a cooled summer ale.
    3. No idea, but recordings sound a lot more nasal than I’d thought. Welsh/Cheshire/Merseyside/London accent? When speaking French?
    4. Azzaffa, meaning ‘to the maximum’. Came from a college chum’s attempts to answer the question, ‘Are you p*ssed yet?’ with the retort, ‘As a fart’.
    5. Low tide to fossick in and out of exposed nooks and crannies; high tide to sail right on through.

  18. There’s another aspect to that ‘voice’ answer that I hadn’t thought about. I grew up in Sheffield in the 30/40’s, there was a VERY strong Sheffield accent back then, I think the BBC has bred it out of them since I’ve never heard it since then. At age 12 right after the war we moved to SE London and you can’t imagine the embarrassment of a young teenager trying to sound cool under those circumstances, I remember trying to sound like other people so what I’ve got evolved out of those circumstances.

    • @gf – probably not exactly your sort of music, but you might be interested to hear what a Sheffield accent sounds like today:

  19. Good questions, Tin!

    1. Cannes film festival, though I think it would make me crazy. At least I could meet up with FP for a glass of wine.

    2. Water – walk around in a creek, take lots of showers.

    3. Dunno. Some airheaded inarticulate somebody or other.

    4. shishkabiddles. It means fucking damnit to hell rat bastard shithead, but you can say it in front of your children.

    5. I like when it’s coming in or going out.

  20. Oh, and thanks for the gazpacho, recipe, Maki – I’ll be giving that a try. The guardian had a white gazpacho recipe the other day, which looked good as well. Have you made such a thing?

    • There are are loads of cold soup recipes over here. The recipe in the Guardian is for Ajoblanco and we make that quite a lot, too. Give it a try, Hugh Very-long-surname’s recipe is just about spot on – although I’ll admit to using blanched almonds myself. All that boiling, peeling and so on is really too much kerfuffle…

  21. Barbryn: Thank you for that, that sounds like a very modern Yorkshire accent, what I remember would probably be unintelligible to most folks today, sort of on the level of a real heavy Glaswegian, but thanks, I enjoyed the listen.

  22. 1. Yorkshire sheepdog trials mostly, they did it.

    2. Pretend I have Nilpferd’s record collection? Alternatively listen to MilesFM under a damp sheet.

    3. Eddie Grundy .. till I moved to Brighton, now Eddie Grundy channelled by the bastard offspring of Adrian Chiles and Hector – not the Greek hero; the dog.

    4. The word is an actual coining and often used in our house grrrwooof, describes the exact point at which your patience breaks, your sympathy is overstretched or your underpants bite back.

    5. High tide; spring tide even.

    A little Indian brave who before he was ten,
    Played war games in the woods with his Indian friends
    And he built up a dream that when he grew up
    He would be a fearless warrior Indian Cheif
    Many moons past and more the dream grew strong until
    Tomorrow he would sing his first war song and fight his first battle
    But something went wrong, surprise attack killed him in his sleep that night

    And so castles made of sand melts into the sea, eventually.

  23. We went to the Philly zoo today, and what I learned from the kangaroos was that a good way to keep cool is to lick your forearms. Try it, everyone!

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