So … It’s a full looking week ahead for DarceysSis – that’s Jess(ica) for those of you who don’t know:

All week – School Year 3 academic assessments.

Monday – Brownies (including badge awards; Jess is due one).

Tuesday – Flute half-term review (she finds out if she’s going to be started on practice pieces for her Grade 1), and finish off her “Top Secret” project at Art Club.

Wednesday – School Sports Day (shot put and relay race).

Thursday – Last Jazz Dance class for a month. 

Friday – 20m Swimming badge attempt at SwimClub.

And then there’s the Bank Hol Brownie trip to Space 2010, and a week on Saturday we fly to Spain for a fortnight of fun and frolics on beach, sea and hotel pool complex.

So what does she do today, whilst we’re round at her friend’s for a relaxing Sunday of pizza, paddling-pool and play in the sunshine?

YEP! Goes over on the same ankle she sprained at Easter, in a playing field pothole whilst playing football, and ends the day in plaster with a broken (well, OK, “chipped”) ankle.

I don’t know about her, but I could cry!

Jess is understandably absolutely gutted about what she’s going to miss; but more heart-breakingly, she’s unfairly worried about what she’s done to OUR holiday!


I know I’m crassly tugging at heartstrings here, and pulling in favours I maybe haven’t earned, but to make her feel better, and disabuse her of that guilt, I’d love to make her a disc of tunes, with maybe a sleeve of get-well one-liners (possibly even little verbal wishes, from those who can work Audacity easily?) from you lot.

Musically, you have free rein: her taste goes from simple-piano-nursery-rhyme wordplay, develops through Jamelia & The Spice Girls, takes detours into classics by Booker T, Otis Redding etc., but is dominated by guitar-led rock & pop – Sheena Is A Punk Rocker being a current fave. Anything humorously related to injuries, legs, hospitals, or holidays jumps to the front of the queue.

I’ll start a DropBox folder entitled For Jess.

49 thoughts on “NNnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

  1. First off – So sorry about your planned holiday, and for Jess – but you supposedly have some lovely weather in England now, so maybe not so bad after all? (you didn’t say if you were actually going, or cancelled the trip?) Get well soon, Jess!

    Nothing for the box, but a few suggestions off the top of me head- I’ll let you decide if it fits Jess’ taste / sense of humor or not, some is of the black variety –

    Green Day – Holiday
    Go-Go’s – Vacation
    Clash – Safe European Home

  2. Poor Jess. I thought about “Stumble and Fall” but as no one else likes Razorlight, I’ve dropped “Why does it always rain on me” into the Box. Do hope the ankle gets better soon – I’d send a hug from Sam but she probably doesn’t like boys much!!

  3. Have you started her on Kenickie yet, as the missing link between the Spice Girls and the Ramones? Stay in the Sun is sort of holiday-related, but less guitar focused than their earlier stuff. I’d go for Punka.

  4. hope Jessica doesn’t get too down about it –
    (don’t show her the Simpsons episode with bart doing Rear Window! – or maybe do – it’s funny)

    I will chuck in:
    Break My Body- Hanne Hukkelberg
    Breaking It Up- Lykke Li
    Caterpillar Playground- Nurses
    Caterpillar Caterpillar- Kira Wiley – Music Resource Group
    Hop Hop Hop- Goran Bregović
    Four Tapping Shoes And A Kiss- Her Space Holiday

    for Dad approval – (if caterpillars cracked half their legs they would topple over big time)

    Big Hugs for Jess from the family Sane. xxx

  5. So sorry, Jess – what rotten luck! Can’t get at my music here at work but I’ll be thinking of some (non-folkie) tunes for when i get home.

  6. Shit, that is in every sense a tough break. Shane’s Bart Rear Window suggestion is great – if you’re not going to get to do the other fun stuff, that’s the route you want to take. As a Red you’ll have “You’ll Never Walk Alone” covered. I’m not sure if Elvis Presley’s “Paralysed” fits on the blanket of Jess’s tastes. How about “I Don’t Feel Like Dancing” by The Scissor Sisters?

  7. Um, Holiday in Cambodia? (thought not). Sister Morphine? [no. – Ed.]

    All the songs i can think of about legs (Hot Legs, ZZ Top, etc ) are rubbish. Get on the Goodfoot? Do songs about dancing count? That may be a better vein to mine.

  8. Probably more constructive if we suggested songs about things she can do on one foot.

    Let’s Go To The Hop?

    The Circle Game?

    Anything by Limp Bizkit?

    Just trying to help!

  9. Poor Jess, what a bummer. I’ll be back later with ‘I can’t keep from crying sometimes’ (do we all think Jess’d prefer Al Kooper to Bert Jantsch?) and whatever other goodies I can find.

  10. DSD – Sorry for Jess but as she’s obviously got good musical taste. I’m gonna go with theory the world always needs more cowbell (where have I heard that?) I’ll try to drop Booker T & the MGs’ Soul Limbo & Hugh Masekelas’ Grazin’ In The Grass. No lyrics just feel good rhythms you can do even on one foot.

  11. Guitar-led pop & rock?… Sheena Is a Punk Rocker?…

    Sounds like The Donnas could be a good choice for her. I’ll drop a few tunes by them

    Still thinking ’bout the cheerful part…

  12. I googled “legless”, found one by perennial wyngatecarpenter favorite Peter and the Test Tube Babies, and another by Laura Viers called Wide-Eyed, Legless.

  13. I’m thinking Everything Is Broken…not the original of course, which would have Dad run screaming from the room, but maybe the Tim O’Brien version.

  14. Ouch. Boxed these for her:

    Fujiya & Miyagi – Ankle Injuries
    Blondie – Tide Is High (For the “I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that” line).
    XTC – Life Begins At The Hop. Couldn’t resist.
    Jarvis Cocker – The Lion & Albert. Storytime.
    Metric – Monster Hospital. Parental guidance required for that one.
    Apples In Stereo – Signal In The Sky (Let’s Go). Always cheers me up, anyway.

    Heal-up soon, Jess & have a great holiday.

  15. Aw, poor Jess! My iTunes is FULL of music that only pre-teen girls should enjoy. Will see what I can come up with…

  16. Right, almost completely randomly (but with an eye on black humour), she’s got the following from me:

    Freemasons ft Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer
    Westworld: Dance On
    Alcazar: Crying At The Discoteque
    Therapy?: Lonely, Cryin’ Only
    Kenickie: I Would Fix You

    Get well soon, Jess!

  17. Evening all.

    First of all, huge thanks to everybody for all this. I did actually attempt to post a reply from my phone whilst I was out at work today, but it doesn’t seem to be here.

    Lots to say, and in no particular order:

    I’m not a big enough Simpsons fan to understand that reference, I’m afraid.

    Kenickie! Good thinking. Shame I don’t own any … whereas I do own a couple of albums by The Donnas, so will relisten to those for inspiration.

    Jess used to have K&tWs version of Going Down To Liverpool on an old playlist. It got booted off when she got bored of it, but she still adores Walking On Sunshine

    Don’t remember going off on one about Twisty Bass, but it’s possible. On the same VOX covermount CD (Spring Collection 1998) as Barry Adamson’s Jazz Devil, which was my introduction to BA.

    Thanks to Shoey for the “Parental Advisory” warning, and I have to say my interest is very piqued by F&M’s Ankle Injuries songtitle.

    Waiting for my PC to finish syncing with DropBox, then my plan is to put everything on a memory stick for her to play through the laptop tomorrow, whilst she’s in on her own with Granny.

    Thank you thankyou thangyewthan’yuhthanksthanktankta!

  18. OK, just relistened to Therapy? and the lyrics might not be, er, age-appropriate. Advance apols – maybe lose that one… Note to self: listen before you Drop!

  19. Hey Rich, I think TheBoyWonder & I may have added more than our fair share…
    We wanted to do a quick recording of ‘HOPPIN’ All Over The World’ just for Jess, but were thwarted by lack of mike. So we added a load of stuff from Sam’s iPod, basically anything with a ChiliPepper/Raconteur connection stems from us (you might want to check out the John Frusciante first, it gets a bit LOUD in places).
    After much dithering I decided to add the ‘Swimming Song’ – it’s such a great song for kids & summer – but if it’s going to prove too cruel for Jess, please zap it away.

    Jess, can we fly over and write our names on your plaster?!

  20. I missed reading this until now, been busy on other things but I am sorry to hear about Jess’ accident.

    Lots of lovely music from everyone, so not sure if there is much I can add now.

    Give her my commiserations, though.

  21. Dear Jess,
    I hope your dad has bought you some blue suede shoes to keep your injured foot safe. Nobody ever steps on those….

  22. Sorry to hear about Jess. Late to the party but may I suggest ( for a laugh) Jake the Peg by Rolf Harris.
    I assume that Jess is already aware of the Allman Bros “Jessica”.
    And what about “Connected” (is it run dmc ?) for the line “Stumble you might fall”
    Get well soon Jess.

  23. Don’t know how old Jess is, but you could think about the Lead Belly kids’ ouevre, including ‘Pick A Bale Of Cotton’, ‘Skip To My Lou’, and ‘Ha Ha This A-Way’. All fun, happy and definitely guitar-based…

  24. Thanks bishbosh. I knew there was an M and a C in there somewhere.
    Confusion is the perogative of the elderly.

  25. Is it too late DsD? If not I’ll drop a couple of Spanish things, or would that be rubbing it in? Poor Jess, kids have a real tendency to feel guilty about things, suffer and not let on. I hope she’s OK and that your alternative holiday plans work out well.

  26. Thank you all once more!!!

    Jess did start listening today, apparently, but didn’t get far, and I’ve had no feedback from her.

    More updates tomorrow, hopefully.

    Bedtime now: another 5.30 alarm in the morning.

    Shane, yet again your artwork is brilliant (even though you got the wrong foot!). I really owe you, mate.

    • no worries – if you get a track list eventually – e-mail it and I will get a finally cd design put together for you to print out for Jess..
      (artwork help from my assistant Z-boy)

  27. Best wishes to Jess. I’ve only just stumbled across this post as well. If it’s a fibre-glass cast and it gets wet, it won’t collapse and you can dry it off with a hair dryer. (Same is true of Plaster of Paris but it takes longer to dry out.)

    Have you tried Red Snapper’s “One legged low frequency guy”? Lots of drums to play along to. I’ll send it along.

  28. Good evening all. An update for you:

    Jess had her temporary cast replaced today at her fracture clinic appointment. The headline news is that at the moment, the Spanish holiday is still ON.

    Although Jess has got a proper pot on her lower leg (and a vivid purple one at that!), the chips off the bone aren’t that much worse than when she merely “sprained” the ankle at Easter, apparently. So the pot is a weight-bearing one, and has one of those rubbersole thingies. Jess has been given another lesson on her crutches, and told in no uncertain terms to use them.

    She then has an appointment to hopefully remove it the cast next Friday, i.e. the day before we fly. If progress is as hoped, she’ll be given a plastic&velcro boot instead, that she can remove to go swimming in. Fingers crossed.

    Re the music you’ve sent, I’m deliberately not looking at who sent what, so that I can claim no offence is due at the tunes she didn’t like. I’ve only had feedback on about a quarter of them, and the only ones with out-and-out rejections are Blondie, Madeleine Peyroux, Goran Bregovic and Coconami, whose cover of Sheena Is A Punk Rocker is, and I quote, “just wrong!

    Kenickie surprisingly only got a lukewarm reception, but I think some more uptempo tunes would probably find favour.

    Booker T.‘s Soul Limbo gets onto her mp3 player, but at the direct expense of Green Onions, which she says she now bored with.

    Smiles and approval were nodded at Little Milton, Lykke Li, Nurses and XTC.

    Bigger praise was reserved for Mongo Santamaria (“Is this a samba?“), Fujiya & Miyagi (“… because the title made me laugh, Dad“) and the Scissor Sisters song that she already knew.

    But Top of the Pops so far are Metric, Radau!, The Donnas, Kira Wiley (the only song I’ve heard her repeat play) and particularly The Raconteurs, one of whose songs was rated “outstanding!!“.

    I’ve taught her how to do star ratings on the laptop’s Media Player, and the top 80 mins-worth of scorers will go on a CD-R to go on holiday with us.

    Can I go to bed again now please?

  29. Great that Jess found some stuff she likes. Not surprised that The Blondie didn’t go down well – neither Shoeteen have shown much interest in Reggae, apart from some of the more manic moments from Scratch. Should have gone with the Jack Norton version – Jack singing that he’s “not the kind of girl” would have got a giggle.


    Jess’ plaster is off, and we’re going on our hols tomorrow!

    Please feel free to pass the word on if anyone asks about our whereabouts.

    Back in a fortnight . . .

    Oh tomorrow we’re off to Sunny Spain, Y Viva Espana
    We’re taking the Jet2 Murcia ‘plane, Y Viva Espana
    If you’d like to chat a matador, in some cool cabana
    And meet senoritas by the score, Espana por favor


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