7 thoughts on “Got A Light, Mate?

  1. The title of your post reminded me of this gem. You have to read it is a kind of Sam Spade film noir way;I am the Big Shot.You heard me right the first time, name of bachelor, Johnny Cool.Occupation: big shot. Occupation at the moment: just having fun.What a party that was, the drinks were loaded and so were the dolls.I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan, then I saw… Hotsy.What a dame, a big bountiful babe, in the region of 48-23-38. One hell of a region.She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima, I had to stand back for fear of being burned.”Whisky-wow-wow”, I breathed; she was dressed as Biffo the Bear.In that kind of outfit, she could get rolled at night…And I don’t mean on a crap table.”It’s kind of revealing, isn’t it?””Revealing? It’s positively risqué, I like it.”She said, “You’re the man of a thousand G’s, right?””A thousand what?”, I quipped,”Why, G-man, girls, guns, guts… You’re my type””Wrong, baby!”, I slapped her hard, “I’m an L-man. Strictly liquor, love and laughs”She stared over my shoulder. “Play it cool, Johnny.””Play it what?”, I flipped. “Listen, I fought my way up from tough East-Side New York. Lead-filled socks and sub-machine guns. Like this!”She said, “Johnny this is a deadly game, have a few laughs and go home.”I shuddered. Normally I pack a rod in pyjamas; I carry nothing but scars from Normandy Beach.I said, “Wrong, baby, you can’t fool me.”She spat playfully. “I’m ahead of you, Johnny.”I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said,”Baby, you’re so far ahead it’s beautiful!””You, you are, you’re eccentric, I like that.””Electric, Cherie, bug off my rocket, tu comprends?” We spoke French fluently.Our lips met again and again, “Yeah yeah yeah,” I slobbered.Hotsy said, “You’re slobbering all over the seat, kid.”I went home, late. Very late.What could I say to my wife? “Darling, I’ve been beaten up again”?Let’s face it, she’s credulous as hell.A punk stopped me on the street. He said, “You got a light, mac?”I said, “No, but I’ve got a dark brown overcoat.”

  2. Big Shot?Only someone who’dNot adjusted their set might haveZero idea and be missingOut on a comic noir classic of the Sixties!Viva Viv

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