Spill Challenge – Quality Control 1: Bad / Corny Rhymes

No challenge up yet I see. Here’s one from me then. Think of a song that you like but that includes a rhyming couplet that really grates. Something that makes you think: oh, come on you could have done better than that! I love the Stranglers but it’s no secret that some of their lyrics are terribly facile and some of the forced rhymes they have come up with over the years are just excruciating.

For some reason the following really grated:

If only he could write a sonnet
He’d place his life upon it

It’s from their last Hugh period album, 10.

Can you do worse?

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104 thoughts on “Spill Challenge – Quality Control 1: Bad / Corny Rhymes

  1. Now there’s a challenge!

    There are many artists whose songbooks are ripe for the picking – the first that sprung to mind was that of Difford & Tillbrook. So many bad rhymes to choose from (Up The Junction is full of them) but I’ll go for the following, from Labelled With Love:

    She crossed the ocean back home to her family,
    But they had retired to roads that were sandy

    This is just one of a dozen or so such rhymes – I could also have quoted:

    bottle/hovel
    reminders/china
    pilot/excitement
    lesson/texan

    etc, etc…

    Labelled With Love

  2. Toffeegirl suggests the following from The Sound of Music soundtrack:

    Adieu, adieu, to yeu and yeu and yeu…

    I know – shocking isn’t it?

  3. Ah, now if our erstwhile founder/administrator were still here, I can think of a lyrical couplet involving some landmarks in Tanzania that might get a mention!

  4. Ace song but with one truly excrutiating rap-rhyme FAIL:

    (I won’t name the song to start with, ’cause I’d like to see how long it takes Shane to ID it – my money’s on under ten seconds from him reading this)

    Never been a fake and I’m never phony,
    I got more flavour than a packet of macaroni

    • “……….Rock drippin’ from my every vowel
      I’ve got the soul of the sixties like Ginsberg’s Howl”

      morning DsD – Bug Powder Dust – Sir. Instant.

      Brill Track – weirdly posted for me on facebook just last night.

  5. Got it. One of the most cringeworthy and distasteful in my collection; this wasn’t even sexy or appealing to the raging-hormone teenage version of me.

    Ian Gillan’s Roller was, musically at least, a powerful highlight from the Mr.Universe album that re-established his credentials, but the lines

    Keep your hands on my lever
    Watch it while I stab your beaver

    didn’t do him any favours at all.
    I reckon even AC/DC would have thought twice about using that one.

  6. First thought, probably too easy.

    Feeling’s unknown and you’re all alone
    Flesh and bone by the telephone
    Lift up the receiver
    I’ll make you believer

    Not even a fan of the song, but this one i like a lot better than the original.

    • Ooh and

      “I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk
      Get you love drunk off my hump”

      (my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump)

      And there’s…

      “And we sang shang-a-lang
      And we ran with the gang”

      (singing do wop do doobie doo aye or something .. Tin will know)

  7. Wasn’t that a lovely Stranglers song!

    These guys have to be some of the worst songwriters ever.

    I’ll bring my timing in, seagulls gather on the wind
    Lady screaming, lady leave me out
    ‘Cause sometimes people stare
    Sitting down in electric chairs

    Okay, my reasoning might be clouded by the sun
    But someone sees the departmental lie
    You know this peacetime jabbing fist in stabbing knife
    Only get one look before you die

    wtf?

  8. The Nabakov one is too easy, but Sting has a motherlode of cringe to pick through.

    Mephistopheles is not your name
    I know what you’re up to just the same
    I will listen hard to your ‘tuition
    You will see it come to it’s fruition

    • Sting is probably the worst offender for me because there seems to be this self assurance that he is very clever that goes along with all the bad rhymes. I think people sometimes confuse intelligence with knowing a lot of long words!

  9. I’ve got a bootleg concert recording from the early 70s in which Neil says these lines from Sugar Mountain were the lamest he ever wrote.

    Now you’re underneath the stairs
    And you’re givin’ back some glares
    To the people who you met
    And it’s your first cigarette.

    I’m laying heavy odds ole Neil deliberately forgot these from Last Trip To Tulsa

    Well, I used to be a woman,
    you know
    I took you for a ride,
    I let you fly my airplane
    It looked good for your pride.

  10. Scandal – Taiyou To Kimi Ga Egaku Story

    I like pop rockers Scandal a lot actually and I really like this song, but this couplet irritates me – it just seems lazy to me like they wanted to finish the song quickly ! ! !

    Taiyou to kimi ga egaku story sou
    Koikogarete kasoku suru kodou

    (The story being written by the sun and you
    My heart’s beating faster, burning with love)

    But I do like this song, maybe that is why I find the couplet so irritating ! ! !

    Scandal – Taiyou To Kimi Ga Egaku Story

    Link Here

  11. So why didn’t anybody say: you know, TP, that’s really terrible?

    Your daddy was a sergeant major
    You didn’t want to but he made you
    Wipe his brass from time to time
    It left a picture in your mind

    Yes, I expect it did…The rest of the lyrics are nearly as bad. (But the guitar is awesome.)

    All Or Nothing by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

  12. Much as I love a bit of Nick Cave he can come out with some clinkers.
    This one in particular leaves me spittin’ cotton.

    “She Got Perfumed Breasts And Raven Hair
    Sprinkled With Wedding Confettis
    And A Gang Of Garrotters Were All Giving Me Stares
    Armed, As They Were, With Machetes”

  13. My particular bugbear when it comes to rhyming couplets isn’t so much the terrible rhymes as the mangling of syntax in order to get rhyming words at the end of each line. Can’t think of any examples at the moment as I’m completely occupied with getting an article written, but will come back to this.

    • I admire Bruce Springsteen a lot for his songwriting, not least because he seldom uses the poetic inversion…which makes it even worse when he does

      Tonight, tonight the strip’s just right
      Out of our way, mister, you best keep

      And even then it’s not a proper rhyme! Racing In The Street (But kudos for the internal rhyme, Bruce. I love me some internal rhyme.)

  14. I used to like Sam & Dave’s “Soul Man2 until my late wife pointed out that it sounded like they were singing “I’m arse-hole man”.
    Now I can’t take it seriously

    Just spotted, I’m signed out. This is Mitch

  15. “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no”

    Then why did you bring it up, Elton? Not really a rhyming one, but it’s always annoyed me.

  16. “Tony, you did a good job. Basically you are right: Shaun is the greatest poet since Yeats”

    24 Hour Party people quote.

    Well if that’s the case my arse paints Pollocks’.

    for this challenge I present Shaun Ryder.

    let’s just jump in anywhere – okay this do:

    And when it’s hot.
    You start to melt.
    Cause you’re not made of jean.
    You’re made of chocolate.

    Happy MondaysW. F. L. (Vince Clarke Remix)

    wrote for luck – okay, a better title than wrote in crayon on a fag packet – but that’s as far as the genius goes. Love the band – but as clunky as Cortina over speed bumps and sleeping policemen.

      • don’t call me Shirley on hear* – gene – yes I expect so – I was writing quickly …

        multitasking isn’t a strong point.

        It actually scans better typed than when he sings it – oddly enough.

        *Here Here.

      • Like Shaun’s stuff (when he’s not too wasted), but agree about the hype. Same goes for those pushing Alex Turner as a new Dylan.

        Neither are a Darnielle or Devoto.

      • But that the thing isn’t it – I DON’T want them to be the NEW anyone –
        Happy Mondays were brill being ramshackle wasters – I mean, their stuff was just a ‘run of the mill’ indie band until a few listens to some DJ’s then they accidently ended up creating ‘Baggy’

        I like ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not’ better than any Dylan I’ve ever heard – apart from ‘.. homesickblues’ but that’s just me – I’ve tried my best – but nothing seeps in. Alex wrote a perfect album of MY time and it gathered in ever pore of my body – not the new anyone – and not for any other era… just suited me better.

        … and the Goats are not perfect – but perfect enough for me. etc. it’s all personal isn’t it – what connects and what doesn’t.

    • Codplay – Barrel

      Look at the fish
      Look how they shine for you
      And everything you do
      Yeah they were all a barrel

      I came along
      I wrote a song for you
      And all the things you do
      And it was called barrel

      So then I took my turn
      Oh what a thing to have done
      And it was all a barrel

      Your skin
      Oh yeah your skin and bones
      Turn into something edible
      You know you know I love you so
      You know I love you so

      I swam across
      I jumped across for you
      Oh what a thing to do

      Cause you were a barrel
      I drew a line
      I drew a line for you
      Oh what a thing to do
      And it was all a barrel

      Your skin
      Oh yeah your skin and bones
      Turn into something edible
      And you know
      For you I’d bleed myself dry
      For you I’d bleed myself dry

      It’s true
      Look how much brine’s for you
      Look how much brine’s for you
      Look there’s brine for
      Look how much brine’s for you
      Look how much brine’s for you
      Look how they shine

      • Really, shoey? Was that actually worth saying? Did someone (you, of all people!) need to jump to Chris Martin’s defence?

        Some of John Barlow’s lyrics may not pass muster (e.g. ‘Ah, child of countless trees/Ah, child of boundless seas’*) but Robert Hunter is an excellent lyricist; good enough for Dylan to use as a co-writer, at any rate.

        [*yet even that song, Cassidy, ends with this excellent couplet:
        Fare thee well now
        Let your life proceed by its own designs
        Nothing to tell now
        Let the words be yours, I'm done with mine
        ]

      • Yep, it was funny.

        You take plenty of shots – no problem with that. Not sure you, of all people, need to be quite so precious if a few come back.

      • Chris – I agree with Shoey, he every right to go tit for tat – everyone likes things for different reasons – Coldplay, I believe, were a gateway band for his daughters – if I remember an old thread correctly (sorry if I don’t – but he has defended them in the past)

        The theme here is:
        Think of a song that you like but that includes a rhyming couplet that really grates. Something that makes you think: oh, come on you could have done better than that!

        It’s easy to dismiss thing we find tedious – but in doing so we can easily tread on others toes. As shoey does with the Dead, here.

        Yellow re-writen suits the fish and barrel and is meant in jest. Sorry about that. We should remember it’s tough to judge quite what others hold dear (or at least don’t sneer at) – for whatever reason.

        But we should be able to create posts with constructive and personal opinion – but flippant dismissal can go wrong.

      • Oh, OK. The view from this lower peg is still good. (And that’s a fair point about having to like the song, shane).

        Well I ain’t often right but I’ve never been wrong
        It seldom turns out the way it does in the song.
        Once in a while you get shown the light
        In the strangest of places if you look at it right

      • Joking aside & in the interests of world peace, I will concede that The Dead’s lyrics aren’t too shabby.

        Would of thought that there must be couplet or two in their prodigious output that would give even the most die-hard of fans a wtf? moment.

        C’mon. ‘Spill it.

      • Oh & for the record:

        Got Coldplay A listed during “colours” week. Their only A listing. My joint-first A-listing with Bill Nelson the same week.

        My girls still like ‘em as do I, here & there. Doesn’t mean that Mr Martin couldn’t use a better thesaurus & cut-out a few woo-ooos & insipid tunes.

      • Thanks for sorting that one out guys. I was hoping the challenge would be provocative but feared a “spat” here. I should have known better. Spill etiquette and common sense to the rescue.

      • Cool, shoey. Well, this is another unimpressive bit of Barlow’s work:
        Ah, life’s infinite diversity
        Great, amazing, majesty
        And it’s bigger than a drive-in movie, oo-wee
        And it’s bigger than a drive-in movie, oo-wee

        But I’d struggle to find a clunking Hunter lyric (amy?, maki?).

      • Yeah, that sucks. Nice one!

        Final season of Breaking Bad has just started here, btw. Have a new TV suggestion for you, but it’ll have to wait for one of those earworms.

      • Can’t think of anything by Robert Hunter, but wasn’t this from Pigpen?

        I want to be your chauffeur, I want to ride your little machine
        I want to be your chauffeur, I want to ride your little machine
        I want to put a tiger, baby I want to put a tiger, baby.
        I want to put a tiger, baby, hey in your sweet little tank.

      • That sounds like a bit of Pigpen rapping to me, amy. He could get quite preposterous, bless ‘im.

        Shoey: don’t tell me anything about BB season 4 or 5! I’m being a good boy and waiting for legit copies.

  17. Been hoping that this subject would come up, and now it has I’ve got little time to indulge as I’ve a plane to catch later to take me back to the UK for a family wedding………………….

    As much as I admire Roger Waters for the subject he tackles and the depth of feeling that he has for his music, there are time when he struggles to be too clever. And sometimes that just dosen’t scan.

    From the album Radio K.A.O.S. we have a first verse in the track “Home” that tries to please people from all over the world.

    “Could be Jerusalem, or it could be Ciaro
    Could be Berlin, or it could be Prague.
    Could be Moscow, could be New York,
    Could be Llanelli and it could be Warrington.
    Could be Warsaw and it could be Moose Jaw,
    Could be Rome,
    Everybody got somewhere they call home”
    .

    Bet that’s the first time Llanelli has had a mention in a rock song !

    • . . . whoops, that was me. But I’ve been on lots of safeguarding courses, so should be doing more to protect vulnerable adults (from exploitative rhymes).

  18. While I’m trying to think of a clunking couplet, I need to get this one off my chest:

    The Shamen – Move Any Mountain

    Great euphoric tune, and nothing wrong with the refrain “I can move, move, move any mountain”… till you get to Mr C’s rap:

    - “Moving any mountain we’re capable of moving…”
    - Wait a minute: so you can’t move any mountain, can you? Just the ones you’re capable of moving. So, which mountains can you move? Hm?
    - Um…
    - Everest? Kilimanjaro? Mont Blanc?
    - Well, no. Just, you know, any of the ones we’re capable of moving.
    - Ben Nevis? Scafell Pike? What about hills? Would you be capable of moving a hill?

    Ruins the song for me.

    • Clock DVA – Beautiful Losers

      The line “I ran & smashed my favourite portraiture”. Is there even such a word? Implies he has a whole collection of portraitures. Arty tosser.

      • Yes, there is such a word. I was going to say that it isn’t a thing that can be smashed, as such, because it’s a skill – or an art, if you prefer (the one of making portaits, naturally) – but then I foolishly went and looked it up, and it turns out that it’s also a formal word for an actual portrait.

        Depends what they’re done on, I supose, but I imagine that smashing yer average portrait might be difficult. Paper? Hmm. Dip it in liquid nitrogen first and maybe it’d be smashable. Canvas (stretched)? I suppose you could smash the wooden stretcher without recourse to liquid nitrogen, but it’d take some doing…

    • Don’t have a problem with that one, assuming it’s a metaphorical mountain. Shaman lyrics are often quite sharp compared to your typical dance tune fare.

      • Yeah, but even so,he’s saying they’re only able to move the ones they’re capable of moving, which is a much less impressive claim than any.

      • True d’at.

        I can move, move, move any mountain (except the ones I can’t). It’s a bit like Elton the sculptor all over again.

  19. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying an Echo and the Bunnymen ‘Best of’. Love the toons, the arrangements, McCullough’s voice, Sergeant’s guitar, but, oh dear, the lyrics. I struggle to find a couplet that has any meaning whatsoever. Most never rise above the following blather and twaddle:

    Stab a sorry heart
    With your favorite finger
    Paint the whole world blue
    And stop your tears from stinging
    Hear the cavemen singing
    Good news they’re bringing

    Seven seas
    Swimming them so well
    Glad to see
    My face among them
    Kissing the tortoise shell

      • Not quite sure why he’s “pining for the pork of the porcupine” either, but wasn’t a shark-jump for me, like some of the Ocean Rain stuff.

    • “Most never rise above the following blather and twaddle”. You are being too kind. Most of the Crocodiles album makes sense but the lyrics in songs like My White Devil and Yo-Yo Man. Well, Mac should’ve done what Sergeant does and kept his mouth shut.

      Anyway, I have listened to the Macc Lads so that you never ever have to and the one line that has stayed with me is:

      Get weavin’ in Macclesfield
      Get weavin’ an’ get yer knackers feeled

      A fairly accurate portrayal of lads on the piss at a touring fair in the mid-80s. Must be sung with a Macc accent.

      And because I listen to a lot of Finnish bands singing in English I have a whole library of bad rhymes. Most of it you can pass off as Finglish and say “well at least it’s not The Jesus and Mary Chain singing In a Hole with it’s ‘How can something crawl within my rubber holy baked bean tin’ line,” but there is always Danny and Armi with I Wanna Love You Tender.

      • Damn! This was meant to be a song I liked. Well I like the Danny and Armi song for all the wrong reasons.

        So Julian Cope take a bow here’s Elegant Chaos:

        People I see
        Just remind me of mooing
        Like a cow on the grass
        And that’s not to say
        That there’s anything wrong
        With being a cow anyway
        But people are people
        With the added advantage
        Of the spoken word
        We’re getting on fine
        But I feel more of a man
        When I get with the herd.

        I’m drunk at the moment, so the herd and the word makes sense.

        Oh Depeche Mode that “why you and I should get along so awfully” line.

      • I very nearly went for Elegant Chaos yesterday when I saw maki’s challenge! And then I realised that I actually think those lyrics are rather brilliant. In a bonkers way.

      • Happy Death Men! Who cares what they’re doing? The point is to take ‘em to your heart. And er… Bugger that’s another theory shot to shit. It made sense when I was 14. HDM has brass on it to make it sound more meaningful, but really it’s camo for Mac’s lyrics.

      • And specifically Catholicism. Isn’t “kissing the tortoise shell” about kissing the Pope’s ring (arf) or some such? I have no idea where I got this notion from, but I’ve believed it for decades.

      • Somebody in the US wrote a thesis about religious imagery in Mac’s lyrics. Crazy. Anyway, Cope’s lyrics have always seemed absolutely barking stars to me but when I’ve been playing his songs to someone more normal than me, I have suffered. Reynard the Fox cost me dearly, I knew I should’ve played her some Cocteau Twins.

      • Reynard is pretty chilling. You’ve probably got a better chance of getting laid with something from the Pairubu catalogue.

      • You could well be correct. He should have called it “Seven Seals” & made it more scarey & less Beatlesque

  20. Much though I love him, lines like “what’s it like to be a loon? I liken it to a balloon” did oblige me to work a lot harder to keep a little Marc in my heart.

    Slightly off-topic, The Beatles “Hey Jude” contains a perfectly good couplet rhyming “carry the world upon your shoulder” with “making your life a little colder”.

    Unfortunately, later on in the song, Paul couldn’t think of anything to rhyme with “you’re looking for someone to perform with”.

    This should have made him re-write the (rather naff) line itself but no – he had to come up with “the movement you need is on your shoulder” as a sort of stop-gap. Even though it didn’t even rhyme.

    “I’ll think of something better later”.

    “No” said John. “That’s the best line in the song. Leave it in”.

    John could be a bastard sometimes.

  21. This one is probably a bit too obvious (except that possibly I’m the only person on here to like Snap!):

    “I’m serious as cancer
    When I say rhythm is a dancer.”

    Deeply, deeply crass.

  22. Brett Anderson has always been given to writing rather iffy lyrics (with a limited range of preoccupations: cement, gasoline, etc), but the lyrics to the last (to my ears) vaguely listenable Suede single, She’s In Fashion, may well take the biscuit:

    She is strung out on a TV dream
    And she’s the taste of the gasoline
    And she’s as similar as you can get
    To the shape of a cigarette

  23. Can’t really have a thread about dubious lyrics without Jim Kerr, Richard Jobson or Gary Numan. Here’s Gaz’s “I’m An Agent” which may or may not be about his record company. You decide:

    Send in eyes
    Thought’s of crashing, all those pictures
    Send in thoughts of john the god

    Send in dreams
    Lovers on corners, clean my sheets
    Your only chance is break the state

    We are clean
    Don’t ask, I’m an agent

    Send in change
    Secretaries, nothing more
    You can be replaced you know

    Send in chance
    Bad conditions, talk of leaving
    Talk of walking out on me

    Send in you
    Send in pain, send in lies
    Send in words that I believe

    Send in you
    Just watch the face, your sure to see
    Something, give this game away

    Send in you
    Get her out, get her out
    Call me, just don’t say the name

    • Ah Jim Kerr is the master of WTF lyrics: In Trance as Mission

      Airmobility
      Dressability
      Tranquil
      You’ll never meet again
      Eyes small
      Take another fine walk
      Expose
      Society can gain
      Great face
      White soul
      Great place
      Then say goodbye

      Time for me to sleep the Big Sleep:

      We were on the top and the world was spinning
      We were only young in the whirlpool of warning
      Communication lost in the thundering rain style
      A shelter from the storm in the early beginning
      Going out in the Big Sleep, out in the Big Sleep
      Could have been years, you know it could have been years
      Or only seconds ago

      Goodnight

      • Think he got away with it because of his straight faced, authorative delivery, as if he was imparting deeply meaningful information.

        Jobson got away with it as his accent disguised the words.

      • I’ve been in bed for two days with a nasty virus, but I’m pleased to say that I’m now recovering and on the way to my usual pedantic self – those are the lyrics to Sweat In Bullet, not In Trance As Mission.
        Fits the great track/terrible lyrics remit though. Donds!

  24. The rhymes in this one really wind me up.

    Lady Jane had a castle in Spain,
    Caviar and a second car
    ‘Cause she’s married to a film star
    Children they had, always good never bad
    Life’s peach, she had one of each
    And a house beside the beach.

    To her credit, the author of those lines has more or less disowned the song. (It does have a nice bit where the singer admonishes Jane to wake up and smell the coffee although not in those words. Better words.)

    All About Eve, “Blind Lemon Sam”
    Not on Youtube.

  25. Ok. I absolutely love this song. And the lyrics totally suck.

    Right beside a riverboat gambler
    Erotic images float through my head
    I wanna be your midnight rambler

      • I always thought he was a such total hottie. But if his idea of erotic images in his head is b&e, rape at knifepoint followed up by a post-coital throat slitting, well, that’s kind of a turnoff.

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