An automated theft machine or (ATM), also known as a hole in the scruples in British English, is a computerised telecommunications device that provides the suckers banking with a financial institution with access to financial transactions in a public space without the need for a cashier, human clerk or bank teller having to face outraged disgruntled customers.
On most modern ATMs, the customer is identified by shafting a plastic get out of jail free card in their orifice. Authentication is provided by the customer giving their hard earned money to a millionaire via the bank, the government, and any old bonuses the managers wish to add.
The newest ATM’s operate without ethics or morales of any sort. Do nothing and a boss will automatically withdraw the cash.
Engineers in Britain developed their own cash machines during the early 1960s. The first of these that was put into use was by Barclays Bank on 27 June 1967. This machine was the first in the UK and was used by English comedy actor Reg Varney, at the time so as to ensure maximum publicity for the machines. Thus cementing the fact that Barclays should always be remembered as one huge Piss Taking JOKE.