Hi. My nom de blog is bishbosh and I *heart* chart pop. There, I said it. I love it. Not all of it, of course. That way madness lies (and we’ll come on to them later, hur hur). But probably more than is considered healthy in a man of my age.
This being the case, I thought I would celebrate my shame (pah!) by launching a new weekly(ish) column in which I attempt to seduce you, my more discerning music-loving friends, into savouring the dirty delights of pure pop. I realise this may take some doing, so let’s take it slowly: just one track a week. For critical reappraisal, if you will. Or even if you won’t.
Our opening number comes from the catalogue of a man who once sagely informed us that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. (While Michael Douglas did a piss-poor impersonation of Indiana Jones.) But let’s not let that trouble us. We’re going back, way back, back to before our intrepid hero (no, not Michael Douglas) exhorted us to get out of his dreams, get into his car. Back to before he resourcefully turned his European queen Caribbean for the, er, European market… Back, in fact, to 1977 (thank you, wikipedia).
I first heard this track in the mid-80s as the B-side of one of those Golden Oldie re-release 7″s. I had bought it for the A-side, the Four Tops-esque (no, really) groover, “Love Really Hurts Without You”, much-loved of commercial-radio DJs the UK over. However, it was the flipside that came to really captivate me. I remember setting the needle on the record: “This is rubbish,” my teenage self thought: the tempo plodding, the opening chords low-key and nothingy, the backing vocals uninspired… and then the lead vocal barrels in – and you’re thrown headlong into the paranoia-wracked mind of a man on the run. “No no no”, he pants, barely able to breathe, let alone sing, “You took my heart and turned me on and now the danger sign is on…”
Yeah, it looks corny on the page; yeah, the metaphor is a little shonky – mixed even – but has there been another record, before or since, that has so exquisitely captured the mindset of your typical commitment-phobic male? And with such sheer adrenalised excitement?! I don’t think so. From that unpromising start, the song builds and builds, spiralling thrillingly out of control as the protagonist realises what he has let himself in for…
I genuinely consider this to be a great, great record – and one that, owing to musical misdemeanours committed latterly by its maker, has been unjustly overlooked by the arbiters of musical taste. Laydeez ‘n’ gennulmen, without further ado (there’s been far too much of that already), I give you Billy Ocean and “Red Light Spells Danger”.
Bet you can’t wait for next week…
Bish you are not alone in liking chart pop music. I love J-pop chart music and I even admit to liking boy bands also!!
It is lovely song Bish!!!
I love songs that start slowly and build up tension and energy as they progress!! I have heard some Billy Ocean before but I did not know this track before. It is lovely!!!
Yay! I thought I might have found a kindred spirit in you!
I’m no musical snoob ( you may have noticed) and will happily listen to the cheesiest of cheese.
I can’t take Mr Ocean seriously ever since it was pointed out that he sounds like he sings “Go and get stuffed” in that song which he done.
Looks like we are all coming out of the (musical) closet at last !
Well, I listened, bish. And googled the lyrics. Sorry, I’m not seduced by this one.
Did you see any of the recent BBC series about the construction of pop songs, Secrets of the Pop Song? A fascinating look at how to make a song that hooks the listener and, hopefully, gets them singing along, with talking heads that have actually done it. It’s still on the iPlayer (until this evening).
Ha ha, valiant effort, Chris! Yeah, I watched all three of those. Really interesting and I thought Guy Chambers came across as a really nice chap. The one with Rufus Wainwright drove me a bit mad because the riff he came up with was so naggingly reminiscent of something else and I couldn’t quite work out what… Think it may have been “Hoppipolla” – which, if you’re gonna plagiarise anything, is a good song to choose!
I have to admit to liking some pop … altho’ not necessarily this song. I wish I’d known that men are ‘typically’ commitment-phobes, I think that might have eased my life a lot along the way, but hey ho. Anyway, I was telling young Munday a while ago that he used to dance to Kylie Minogie (specifically ‘Can’t get you out of my head’) when he was still “in my tummy”. Lo and behold, I spied him in the Nisa shop the other day, bopping around in the aisle by the chocolate and crisps and who should be on the sound system but – sharp intake of breath – Kylie and “Can’t get you out of my head”. In my defence, he likes Led Zeppelin and the Foo Fighters too.
I rest my case, just found the you-tube link, played one note, switched it off and young M recognised it instantly. “Don’t switch it off mum, I like that!!” 2Put it back on, I know it’s sad but I need Kylie!”
She’s too old for him.
But that Kylie song is really, really good. Extraordinarily catchy. The title is very appropriate.
If she hadn’t gone through that Stock-AItken-Waterman phase at the beginning of her career, and had emerged fully fledged with this, she would have been as cool as – well, as cool as chart pop gets.
Wholeheartedly agree, Amanda. I have PLENTY more to say on Kylie in weeks to come, but one thing that really irritates me is when people go on about how ‘thin’ and weak her voice is. I actually think she has a perfectly serviceable – and really rather pleasantly listenable – pop voice. People are remembering “I Should be so Lucky” and its horrible tinny production and judging her on that. Vocally, I think she is leagues more listenable than Madonna, frinstance…
Always quite liked Red Light. Not so keen on his later stuff which was massively overproduced by Mutt Lange he of Def Leppard AC/DC Bryan Adams fame.
What’s not to love about the Brixton’s soul supremo? If this series is going to be a musical version of the I’m A Celebrity… eating challenge, this isn’t close to being a kangaroo’s cock: indeed, it really is cheese. No shame whatsoever.
Sakura, as ever, nails its appeal, and I love your analysis of its thematic sophistication, bish. If you can explain to me one of these weeks why I love Shakira’s Underneath Your Clothes, this will be the greatest ‘Spill series yet!
I thought I’d ease us in gently, may. There will be plenty of wriggling witchetty grubs to swallow further down the line…
D’yunno what, Bish? That was rather better than I remember.
yeah, that wasn’t too bad at all Bish!
But then I am a wee bit partial to “Get Out of My Dreams….”, when it kicks in at the end of ‘Licence To Drive” it’s just perfect! That film is pretty untouchable in my book, though; Haim and Feldman at their best.
It’ll always be Lost Boys for me… Maybe I’ll post a pic of me in my Lost Boys T one of these days. In case you start thinking I might be a teensy bit cool…
Lost Boys! Yay, great movie (in an 80s brat pack kind of way)! Not sure if we own the DVD (or the VHS for that matter), but I definitely have the soundtrack album.
Not getting any hint of guilty pleasure here, it’s perfectly fine. Perhaps because BO did usually squander his talents on appalling drek?
Great series idea, keep em coming! Can’t say that this particular song does anything for me, but i’ll make a confession here that i’ve never publicly made here or on the mothership. I love cheesy Paula Abdul songs. There, i’ve said it.
Hi Amylee
I really enjoyed both of these! I think maybe I preferred the Opposites Attract of the two, but both are really nice.
I think chart music is popular because there are good tunes with good production and arrangements. I think these two songs really show that!
I think they are great tracks!!!
Thanks. Sakura! Poor Paula gets some stick.
One topic on the mothership i posted both a Sheena Easton song and a Sheryl Crow song. There was a lot of grumbling about people posting songs that they didn’t like. But…but…i loved them both!
I do loathe Britney Spears though.
I could never quite stomach the cartoon cat in Opposites Attract, but I loved Straight Up.
The test of a great pop song may well be how memorable it is. Will it still be there in a casual listener’s head 20 years after its chart residency?
As soon as Bish mentioned “Straight Up”, I remembered it. I knew the lyrics that came immediately after the title in the chorus. The titles of the other two didn’t have quite the same effect, but I certainly recognised “Rush, rush” when I played it. The other one must have passed me by.
I like a bit o’ pop, me.
I hadn’t heard this track before; I supose I can be forgiven, as it’s a B-side. I didn’t quite get into Billy Ocean that much, but I don’t have any objections to him as such. But this one’s jolly nice. It doesn’t sound like much to start with, does it? But then – big vocals – wham. Sold. Good stuff.
Nice idea for a series, Bish.