Well, it’s a funny old life. You bumble along for a while, and then just when you think you’ve got it sussed, everything changes. Not that I’m complaining, I’ve had a very fortunate life so far.
Thing is, as of Wednesday I will be unemployed for the first time since I left school, nearly 34 years ago. I have been applying for jobs, and will continue to do so, but competition is fierce and the incentive, I must admit, is not great. Of course, I will need to eat, etc., but I can probably survive for a few months at least before panic sets in (or the snow starts to fall). I am being politely encouraged to take myself off for a week or two by myself and not to come back until I have had a good time, but I have absolutely no idea where to go or what to do when I get there. Friends and relatives are scattered to the four winds and I would be hard-pressed to visit all of them without getting travel-sick, or without offending anyone along the way. So what I’m looking for are some helpful ideas – bearing in mind that I am of a certain age and not likely to enjoy (say) living it up in Ibiza or even wallowing in a field at Glastonbury. And that my passport has expired. And that if I was a bloke I would already have my walking boots on, my beard at the ready and a pint of real ale to hand.
What would Spillers do? Answers on a postcard, please … and here is some music to get you thinking:
Ooops. Those weren’t meant to be mistery tracks. But virtual spill points to anyone who can identify them (not diifcult!)
My Dearest Alimunday!!!
I really feel like i have a responsibility now to come up with something great!
But I can only say what I do when I need to really clear my mind, and relax and find my centre again…….I go to the sea.
I find that if I can see the sea, and wake up and walk in a beach and go to bed tired from exercise and look at the sea before I sleep then some how all comes right in my mind.
In our tradition in my home Island there was a sea dragon that attacked the people, and terrorised them, but the magical lion dog Shisha saw this from heaven and came down to earth to fight the sea dragon, there was a really big battle and at the climax of the battle, Shisha roared so loud that he made a rock fall from the heaven and kill the sea dragon and so he saved the people.
We believe in our islands that Shisha looks over us and will always protect us, all we need to do is stand where we can see the sea and call him and he will come.
Maybe you do not believe in Shisha, and really as a literal figure I do not really either, but I do believe very very really in the healing power of the sea.
I would go to the sea!!!
Love
Sakura xxx
I live next to the ocean, and it’s totally wasted on me! I really don’t like the ocean, it depresses me. But i do love mountains. That’s where i’d ideally go if i could. Grass is always greener.
That’s because, gives a lecturer’s harumph, the prevailing winds are forced to rise by the mountains, cooling and dropping their water … of, one of those figure of speech things. I always get tripped up by those.
amylee
Wow!!! we are so different!!! I think for me I would die if I could not see the ocean regularly.
I come from a small island between Okinawa and Taiwan and I grew up seeing the sea every day and swimming and playing on the beach, the sea is really important in our culture and the Islands (Ryukyu Islands) are named after our God of the sea Ryujin.
Even here in Tokyo I often go to Odaiba so I can see the sea even if it is only Tokyo bay. I look at the sea and I really feel at peace. Also it is so changing with the wind, the light, the tide, the waves, it is never the same for two days! I can never get tired looking at the sea!!\
But I love mountains also!!! So we are the same in that way!!!
Thank you Sakura, that’s very wise. I do love the sea, and I like the idea of a protective lion dog, as well. We have a story here about Mousehole, a small harbour in Cornwall, and an old fisherman and his cat who brave the anger of the Great Storm Cat and go out on the stormy sea to save their village. It isn’t a traditional tale but it is much loved by children and (ahem) some grown-ups too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtecTOc6nII&feature=related
Come and stay with me!
By the way the list of tracks appears in the email version of your post…
Donds, Tfd!
TFD you are a complete star. Are you serious? I’m quite odd (only “quite?” – Ed)
Certainly. I’m pretty odd myself, you know.
The only thing is the annoying people coming to look at the house. So you’d have to keep hiding your smalls.
TFD, I read that as “snails” first off (I need new glasses). Not as bizarre as it may sound, my friend keeps giant land snails. I do usually hide my smalls, although they have featured in the background of one or two photographs (e.g. festooned on the radiator). I could probably keep them under control.
You 2 would have a great week together!
First up- sympathies, we are in the same position at the moment ( though it’s my wife’s 4th redundancy, we’re getting used to it now).
It’s not a bad idea to take stock. The seaside sounds like a good idea ( somewhere quite though, Skegness might not be quite right).
I’m sure something good will come out of it in the long run. It has done for us and for friends of ours too.
Thank you pairubu – and best wishes to you both. I am feeling quite positive but it’s just going to take a while to sink in. BTW, a friend of mine was brought up in Skegness, his dad was a farmer and (when my friend was a child) used to let him ride on the backs of the pigs … I suppose it beats the more traditional donkey rides on the beach.
Pairubu
I am sorry to hear about your difficulties, but I really admire your positive attitude!!
I do most sincerely hope that things work out soon for you.
Love
Sakura xxx
Hey Ali. First off, sorry to hear about the job loss. Really hope something else comes along soon.
A (female) friend of mine took herself off and did the Camino de Santiago a few years back when she had a similar period of free time ahead of her and needed an emotional lift. She speaks Spanish, which may have made it easier, but she seemed to meet all nationalities. Check out this website:
Camino de Santiago
Other than that, maybe some sort of retreat? Not done it, but I think 10-day Vipassana meditation courses are reasonable (maybe even pay what you can). Depends if you can bear the thought of 10 days not talking – not sure I could!
Hm, if I think of anything else, I’ll post again.
x
PS Not heard the Manchester Rambler for ages – love it!
Thank you bishbosh – Camino de Santiago sounds wonderful, I’d never thought of Finisterre as the end of the world before, but of course it is, literally. Funny how one takes things for granted! Maybe I could take a Spanish course first, that would give me something to focus on as well.
Mrs Maki knows what you’re going through. She was made unemployed at a similar age and found the first couple of months horrific. She even got addicted (mildly) to daytime soaps – if you ever met her you would realise how unlikely this seemed. She had to stop and think. And the answer was to pay a little more attention to herself. She’d spent far too much of her life looking out for others (me included) and really needed to invest time and (yes) money in the things that would make her feel better about herself. Now, ten or so years later, she’s running an office here in Madrid where she coordinates the activities of more than 100 people – no university degree to get her a soft job, just an HND and a lot of drive! Her advice, Ali, is to do something you wouldn’t normally get the chance to do with all the baggage we normally carry around with us. You speak fondly of France at times. Couldn’t you go for a quiet week’s camping there, somewhere by the sea as Sakura says. There are loads of campsites in Brittany. Have a weekend in a BnB in London on the way over (or back) and meet up with some of the London based ‘Spillers who’d love to see you. Just do something that helps you to find out what makes you happy.
We both wish you “Bon courage!”
Thanks Maki, everyone is being very kind, I’m quite overwhelmed. I know I’m in a pretty good position compared with many of you and Mrs Maki’s advice is really helpful. Brittany would be good, I’m still in touch with my penfriend (not bad after 36 years!) and I know she would like to meet up. Whether we would still get together over “Obscured by Clouds” and Maxime le Forestier is debatable, but I’m sure we would still have something in common. London sounds good too.
My heartfelt sympathies. I may soon be in the same situation.
So any road up – you have no passport so……
The New Forest is beautiful and very relaxing and at most resorts you can hire a bike and a route map to go on excursions.
Also Weymouth is only two stops away on the train from Brockenhurst so you can see the sea and all the trappings of an old-fashioned English beach holiday. Donkey rides, Punch and Judy, sand sculptures etc.
If you get bored of both, the ferry to the Isle of Wight is very close by.
http://www.thenewforest.co.uk/discover/
Hi Severin – I sincerely hope things work out for you.
I like Hampshire and the Isle of Wight, I still have a few very elderly relatives around Portsmouth and used to go down there quite a lot. My great-grandparents came from the IoW and had 21 children, so I’m probably related to most of the islanders! And I once pushed a vacuum cleaner along Weymouth seafront – long story – so next time, I might try it without the hoover.
WOW!!! you have such good friends, I do not believe that anything but good can come of this trial!!!
This song is a prayer to Amaterasu-ōmikam, the Shinto Sun Goddess and who we believe is mother of all things. It is called awa-no-uta or song of the universe.
It is about how human life and nature seek to find harmony.
I hope you like it.
I am thinking of you as are all your friends!!!
Thank you, it’s lovely.
Good heavens, Ali! I hope this is a good life-changing moment for you in the end.
Beautiful beautiful picture!
The sea sounds like a good idea. My parents have a house at Cape May Point you’d be welcome to use. It’s very quiet and simple there, but I think you’d need a passport.
Alternatively… My husband recently learned how to drive a motorcycle, following an intensive 3-day course. I’m not saying you do that, exactly, but he recommended the experience of immersing yourself in something you’re fascinated by, and of learning something new. After all these years, our brains get pretty set, and it feels nice to stretch them a little with something new. So maybe there’s a week-long course in something that interests you? I was just looking at courses at a vegetarian cooking school in Bath (why was I? I don’t know!) I’ve always thought it would be fun to do something unusual like bookbinding. But maybe you could find a short & intensive creative writing course? With somebody you admire? Work on something that’s all your own, and that would be something to continue doing while you’re waiting for the perfect job to turn up. Unless of course you become a famous author first, and then job be damned!!
Hi Steenbeck, thank you for the kind thoughts. Don’t think I’m quite ready for a Harley Davidson (Hell’s Grannies?) but I have thought about a creative writing course, or an art course of some sort. coking might be a more practical idea though, my son will testify that I could do with some encouragement in that direction … he keeps complaining that everything is “burnished” (burnt!)
I’ve revised my idea a wee bit! There’s a writer that I admire very much that has just invited you to stay with her!! Have you read TFD’s stories? They’re WONDERFUL. So my new idea is a much less costly and stressful writing workshop that involves ali and TFD writin’ and respondin’
It’s really hot here. It’s all of a sudden meltingly hot. Apologies for any nonsensical sounding posting.
Wow – thank you, steenbeck.
Thanks Steenbeck, we have been emailing … not sure if tfd knows what she has potentially let herself in for!
[She does.]
You 2 do realize that should the visit come off you will owe the Spill a playlist?
Condolences Ali. I’m currently in the same situation (it’s been 2 months now). But i’m pretty happy about it, i don’t really want to work! I might have to in a month or two though, as i’m not collecting unemployment so my only income is depleting savings and my own business.
Aren’t you a cyclist? Best thing i think is to take a lot of time out alone in nature. For me it’s walking with a camera. It’s not a bad time of year to be unemployed.
And you could always get started on that blog too….
I wish you well and am pretty sure a better situation will eventually come up, it isially does.
Thanks Amylee, I hope you manage to find something when you’re ready. No shortage of nature where I live, I am in danger of becoming a one-woman wildlife sanctuary (or is it bats in the belfry?)
Much sympathy from me too. I think my suggestions echo what several people have already said, but in more abstract terms: it’s not so much where you go – there are so many fabulous places in Britain, so the lack of a passport isn’t a problem – as how you go there. Just turning up with no particular aim in mind could be a complete disaster (at any rate it would be in my case).
I would set yourself some sort of task or mission: it could be taking a course, as Steen suggested, or following a pilgrimage route as Bish suggested. In your position, my Plan A would (if Mrs Abahachi allowed me) be to settle down to write the novel that I’m otherwise never going to write, but my Plan B would be to plot an interesting long-distance cycle route. Since you’re a walker, you could think of something like the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path. You don’t have to travel set distances – or at all, if the weather’s lousy on a particular day – but you will have a goal in mind. You can always plot your route from pub to pub as well…
Thanks Aba, that’s a good plan. I thought of travelling the country and visiting all the people I haven’t seen for years but still keep in touch with – then I thought maybe that’s not such a good idea as absence quite often makes the heart grow fonder. But the walking route is tempting, we have the Pennine Way and the Coast-to-Coast routes up here, and plenty of pubs. Might give the bike a miss though, it has been a while!
what great comments and words of wisdom from all.
I can’t add too much i’m afraid Ali, except to say that Mrs Panther is also not working at the moment (although, hers was by her own choice) and was falling into the daytime soap trap (i’ll wager that Korean soaps are about as intellectually stimulating as Mrs Maki’s Spanish ones!) but that talking with like-minded people and making new friends in our new area has really motivated her to get the business going again, and she is now planning the resurrection of the shop as a pretty much full-time job.
So, going on a course or some kind of training definitely sounds good to me, if only for mutual inspiration and motivation.
Failing that, we are only minutes from the sea and have a spare room……., may be a wee bit far though…..
Thanks PantherSan – you are right about the comments, I expected a few light-hearted replies and some off-the-wall suggestions but I have obviously misjudged everyone and I’m really touched by all the responses. I’m not even tempted by soaps but the Internet is my downfall, I find something interesting and then get distracted, and suddenly it’s tea time (or whatever)!
Mrs Fugit has recently had to retire, and the climate restricts her to long hours at home while I’m at work. We’ve just picked up a cheap second hand Yamaha keyboard (50 quid or so) and she’s currently trying to remember how to play it, having learnt as a child. Perhaps learning how to play an instrument?
Whenever I was on the dole, I used the local library a lot – nice walk down into town, peruse all the papers, do a crossword or two, read a book and, now, use the internet for free. Keep the libraries open!!
I’m from the North East and we often say that our scenery is the best-kept secret in the world. The weather (which is not as bad as it’s made out to be) tends to make the place relatively tourist-free. If you enjoy cycling, you could book a train very early in advance (I booked Newcastle – Glasgow return as early as it appeared on the internet and it only cost 16 quid) and take your bike and cycle round Northumberland. We’ve got a maginificent coastline, the low-lying Cheviots, Kielder Forest, Hadrian’s Wall and, when nature starts to pale, the Toon (Newcastle). I think it’s still relatively cheap (B&Bs and camp sites abound).
It’s a good place to go if you need some time-out, but if you do need company, it’s friendly (even if you don’t understand what half the people are saying to you).
I know that this is no long term solution, but as a way of clearing your head (if you need to) and maybe being struck by inspiration, it’s not a bad option.
Good luck.
Tempus
Thank you Tempus – I know Northumberland is beautiful, I remember holidays there when I was a kid (Bamburgh springs to mind) – also the East Coast, going up towards Edinburgh. Newcastle is striking distance for me, it’s a great city and I used to visit quite often through my job, but it would be nice to have a proper look around. Thinking on, I have some friends in Edinburgh, I could make my way slowly northwards … thanks!
Actually if you do prefer the east, Ali, I have a friend who runs a B&B in Berwick-upon-Tweed…
(But I hope you decide west is best.)
For a small trip away, I agree Glastonbury is vast and scary on your own but you could consider camping in a field for the End of the Road festival in early September. It’s small (5,000 people), the setting is gorgeous, they have great food, all the child tickets have just sold out so you have an excuse to go without young Munday if you want one; I’ll be there with several friends, so you needn’t be alone unless you want to, and it’s one of the best line-ups I’ve seen in years.
In the meantime, resist daytime television. I banned it when I first retired (after watching Loveday from the first to the last episode) and it’s a good decision. I fell into the daytime soap trap when I was laid up with a badly fractured right leg and spent three months in a wheelchair. I was living in the States at the time and there was wall-to-wall daytime soap programming. It sucks you in and then you get withdrawal symptoms if you try to stop.
I’ve been made redundant three times and, although it can be a mighty shock, in each case it has led to better things. Could you afford to work part-time? If you could, I’d strongly recommend it.
If you come to London, a social will be promptly arranged and I’m sure we can find somewhere for you to stay if need be.
Thanks Mnemosene – I’ll check out the End of the Road festival, it’s a new one on me (and you call yourself a West Country girl? – Ed). Fortunately daytime TV doesn’t hold any appeal for me, it’s bad enough in the school holidays when young Munday watches all the kids stuff – drives me nuts. And yes, I’m looking at part time because I could fit it in with school hours – I mean, seeing I have a child, I suppose I really ought to take some responsibility for his upbringing and not farm it out to other people … though I’m shocked at how un-motherly I am! Will certainly attempt to make the next social too, it’s about time we had another northern one as well (can’t believe where the time goes).
Ali, I haven’t contributed up ’til now because I don’t have much to add to what’s already been expressed by other spillers, but I think that were I [god forbid] in your position I’d choose to sit tight for a while and to consider all my options. Presumably the rent’s paid and there’s something in the fridge and you probably do have a local social network so sitting and thinking for a couple of weeks would not be too difficult. As others have suggested this might actually be a blessing in disguise, it might be the opportunity to do that something that you’ve often thought about or to try something completely different. I would tackle it as a challenge, ‘I have X weeks to think about this, so how, on a day to day basis should I start and proceed?’
You would be in the security of your home surrounded by known objects and people plus little Ali would feel secure. I’d start using the internet as a research tool rather than an entertainment/educational medium, you’d have to figure out what that means in terms of your interests and preferences but it’s an enormous resource just waiting to be tapped.
Above all I’d work to keep a positive attitude at all times and to not allow my imagination to run rampant negatively.
Once you’ve got all that figured out then you might consider getting on your bike and going camping. Good luck and keep smiling, remember Chaplin’s song ‘Smile’, it’s totally appropriate.
Thanks GF,I think that’s the line I’m going down at the moment, although not in a position to turn work down if something suitable pops up – have had a lot of time to think about it but still not sure what to do for the best!
Btw, loving the idea of having one’s beard at the ready… for what?! x
Well, it catches all the crumbs so you can save them for later …
On Nevski bridge a Russian stood
Chewing his beard for want of food –
He said; “It’s tough this stuff to eat,
But a darn sight better than shredded wheat”.
Hmm, am somewhat of an expert in getting fired. Some suggestions:
2 week break is a great idea.
Try to get any blame/anger out of your system (especially self-directed) ASAP.
Let everyone know the situation & ask if they have any ideas (seems you’ve already started that one).
Finding work can be harder work than work & you need to treat it like work & work at it (this one sucks).
Revisit & trim the budget (this sucks too, but you only have to do it once). Figure out how long you have to search & what you need to make?
Do some people related part-time volunteer work. It’s good for the soul, keeps you sharp & engaged. Who knows what it might lead to?
Do some of those things that you didn’t have time for when you were working.
“What Color Is Your Parachute” is a useful book. Don’t know if there is a UK version, but there is a website.
“(this sucks too, but you only have to do it once)”
I’d actually disagree with that one, it’s an ongoing thing. As the finances get increasingly tighter, more and more things have to get cut.
Thanks Shoey, good advice and I think I’m well on with this one – have done lots of drinking (my usual answer to everything) and got it out of my system, and have been looking for work for the last couple of months – also budget slashed, got rid of the car, stopped eating and concentrated on drink instead .. . no not really … well, maybe a bit, but that has to stop!! Will also look at volunteering, plenty of options on that score and have already followed a couple of them up. Will investigate the website too, thanks for suggesting it.
Very little to add to all the excellent advice, Ali, but plenty of solidarity from someone whose last steady job was over seven years ago. That job was due to finish anyway but knowing that prompted me to bite the bullet of self-employment. Wonderful, liberating, stimulating, but living with so much routine uncertainty also has a statute of limitations – so I think drifting, or rather ambling, for a period of time is great, but it’s worth having a specific direction in which to amble. If I’d worked out then that my employment now would be largely tied up in academia, I might have been more strategic.
If, out of all the suggestions above, you opt to explore creative writing courses, give me a shout and I’ll see if I have any inside knowledge that can help you make your choices. Mind you, I like steenbeck’s suggestion of mining tfd’s literary reserves!
Thank you May, very kind of you – obviously what you should have done at the outset was to ask all the Spillers for advice, I’m really grateful to everybody for being so helpful and positive. And I’m definitely going to visit tfd before she changes her mind and leaves the country!
Good luck Ali, I don’t really have anything to add that others haven’t said already.
Thanks Carole. My brother has offered me a caravan in his garden so I might see you in the Welly …
Here you go, Ali!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011/may/31/castaway-taransay-island-for-sale
Funnily enough I saw this in the paper today – now I know what to do with that £2m stashed away in my offshore bank account!
Ali, sorry I’m so late (again). I don’t envy you your work position at all – I am one of the remaining 4 of a previous team of 15 hanging on by the skin of our teeth, no-one knows for how much longer (might just be weeks, but we’re hoping for months!) – but I’m mighty envious of the thought of your watching otters whilst sipping on a frozen tequila cocktail with Bruce Springsteen, nay Richard Thompson, nay Tom Petty serenading you in the background. I think we should set up an Old Girls’ Network so’s we can all join in!
If you ever get your passport renewed, there’ll always be a mattress waiting for you here [I could seriously use another pair of hands mid-August when I'm supposed to be in charge of the kiddies bit at our Summer Festival, hint, hint, hint]…
Oh, Ali can choose her own music…
Sorry to hear about your position, Debby. What sort of summer festival is it? I’m struggling to entertain one child at the moment (it’s half-term) – we’re sitting here with an egg steeping in vinegar (apparently if you leave it long enough it makes the egg bouncy) – something to be tried outside, tomorrow, I think, preferably before my sister-in-law turns up for a day out …
Here’s a jolly little ditty that might cheer (some of) you up…
Sack Me You Bastards by the Box Ticked.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/22442303/05%20Sack%20Me%20You%20Bastards%20%28Go%20On%20I%20Dar.mp3
Loads more good advice up there than I can really add to, but fwiw, my tuppen’th is:
(i) Go stay with tfd for a week – lovely part of the world, and you couldn’t have a better landlady.
(ii) When you’re home, anytime you want a coffee and a chinwag, call me. If I’m not working, I’m up for it.
(iii) Try Capita’s website. That’s where I found the Census work, and apparently they’re always recruiting for short-term stuff. Word of warning though, their HR people couldn’t organize the proverbial in a brewery, so don’t hang too many hopes on one of their hooks.
(iv) Go to End Of The Road – I haven’t been, but my brother (a festival virgin until into his forties) went once, and immediately booked his holidays so he’d go to the following two. And kind of related to that, as it happens, his work situation means if he went this year, he’d probably come back to a shut-down site too, so he can’t. I saw him at the weekend; he looks like death, and his stress levels are through the roof, so try to see the positives in the fact that you’ve passed that tipping-point.
Chin up, Ali.
Thanks DsD, hope your situation improves too – and your brother’s. I could possibly have transferred to the tax office but thought that was just a step too far, even for me, the queen of sell-out.
Would be nice to meet for coffee some time, also offer is still open if you’re ever over this way, feel free to pop in, we’re child and family friendly and there’s nothing left to break!
Ali- sorry I’ve just seen this post & I’m sorry to hear of this turn of events. Still you seem to be focusing yourself properly for the task at hand. I’ve only glanced at the other posts and can say both sea & mountains work for me. Even better if the two are combined. Even just a tall hall improves the sea for me. It’s the sense of reaching beyond the horizon I think gets me going. A trick I’ve used to great effect is rereading something from my youth. For some reason it has an uncluttering effect. Ray Bradbury’s Dandelion Wine has worked well for me. Short enough to devour in an evening and just lovely.
Thanks Fintan, I’m on Finn Family Moomintroll, funnily enough – it always cheers me up.
Ha! We’re soulmates. I knew it.
I’ve only just come here and apologies for the delay.
Some of the most relaxing holidays we took were in the Assynt region of Scotland where the beaches are stunning (they look like those Bounty adverts) or on the Isle of Skye.
When we stayed in Lochinver we were so impressed by the vibrancy of the place. It is a fishing port, but tiny and has the best of all worlds (and seals in the harbour).
All in all, its a grand place to chill out.
Thanks to you too, Mitch. Scotland is beautiful, I used to go up to Thurso with my ex and the quality of the light always struck me. I’ve never been ‘west’ so it would be great to go and see tfd, and I’m looking forward to meeting Tom Petty as well.
Well, he won’t be on the airbed – I’ll tell you that for nothing.
I dunno. I heard that could be fun unless the bed gets a puncture – then you whizz round whilst the bed makes odd noises
Come to think, I don’t even know where the airbed is. But I have four beds and two spare mattresses, so…