Moove on up.

To celebrate the International Year of the Cow* I thought it would be nice to trawl down the back of my metaphorical sofa and dig out some dairy themed “outsider” stuff for you all to “enjoy”.
Cows, are, I feel, somewhat neglected in song. There are plenty of great songs about cowboys and a few about green grass but not so many about our bovine friends or , indeed, the products they produce ( though, it must be said, milk does feature in quite a few great tunes “No milk today” “Ernie” etc). I love cheese and other dairy products, yoghurt for example, and present these tracks as an homage to a creature and food provider that even we vegetarians can talk to without looking totally barmy.

Another “outsider” fan put it very well on his blog, these are not tunes to be “enjoyed” they are tunes to “withstand”.
So, without further ado, I hope you withstand them.

First up we have Mike Sophia- Cow
This work of genius takes us deep into the mind of the cow , which, I suspect, is mainly full to thoughts about grass. In fact I’m willing to bet that the “word” “Moo” means “grass” in cow. Set to what may be best described as a “nightmare fairground” backing and replete with the joyful lowing of many cows it is a thing of beauty and wonder.

Next we have Rudy Burkhalter- Come to Cheese Day in Monro

I’ve been fascinated for some years by the annual Cheese Day event held in Monro County, Wisconsin ( Big Swiss-American community, apparently) where parades and events celebrate the foodstuff which we all know and love.
I stumbled across this celebration by accident, following on links that I discovered whilst perusing the online works of my favourite poet, James McIntyre who, whilst born in Canada, had some cheesy connections with the states. Here are a few lines from his epic poem “Ode on the Mammoth Cheese” **

We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze –
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

Lastly, but not leastly, a song from the New Zealand ministry of cows recording that was sent out to farmers to encourage them to medicate their cows against the foremost disease of the udders. The record, called Mastitis Melodies, utilises well known tunes to get the message across.
Here then is The Waikato Dairy Singers- Treat your teats

Well, I hope you withstood that O.K. I’m afraid I can’t take responsibility for any mind warping caused by listening to this stuff.
I hope to be able to continue posting, perhaps themed , songs in a similar vein for your withstandment and will include a “Mystery Track” to add to the fun

* Which I just made up.

** This, apparently, means a large cheese and not what I first assumed.


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14 thoughts on “Moove on up.

  1. udderly brilliant -

    I’m reading about WAINWRIGHT IS A DAD AS COHEN’S DAUGHTER GIVES BIRTH – while listening to treat your teats!…

    …my mind used to be a fragile thing balancing on the edge of a very large cliff….
    luckily the world has come into sync and I feel perfectly normal now.

    thank you for that pairubu (you need to put the player in to make it easier, please)

    dairy related would be fun:
    Milk (The Wicked Mix) - Garbage Feat. Tricky
    Milk Bottle Symphony - Saint Etienne
    Sinaloon Milk Snake Song - The Mountain Goats
    Spilt Milk - Fujiya & Miyagi
    Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright
    Ice Cream - New Young Pony Club
    The Black Ice Cream Song - The Mountain Goats
    When You Were Eating Ice Cream - Let’s Whisper
    Ice Cream Truck - Casiotone For The Painfully Alone

    and in the spirit of the ‘biannual british bull celebration’

    Bull in the Heather - Sonic Youth
    When Tailgate Drops, The Bullshit Stops - Jack Rose
    Bullfighter Jacket - Miniature Tigers
    Bullfighter’s Bones - The Shrubs
    Bulls On Parade - Rage Against The Machine

    forgot:
    Cow Sparklehorse

    • Glad you withstood them.
      I thought about putting them in a player but decided that more sensitive souls might prefer the option of not listening or cutting short the more challenging numbers.
      This is the tip of a very large and smelly iceberg of “odd” stuff that I cherish and hope to share in the future and, frankly, there is worse, much worse, to come.

  2. Here’s my favourite song about a cow:

    And my favourite cow-related lyrics:

    People I see just remind me of mooing like a cow on the grass
    And that’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with being a cow anyway
    But people are people with the added advantage of the spoken word
    We’re getting on fine but I feel more of a man when I get with the herd

    Quite.

  3. Just listened to Mike Sophia. Think that may have been the longest 3 minutes and 36 seconds of my life thus far. Not a bad melody underneath all the mooing, mind. Will steel myself for the other three…

  4. I’ve put on my large foam cheesehead, and my Emmental-styled jeans (which is an inviting cross – surely someone will be in the box to tap it over the line), and am embarking on my trek into the dairy dark side, fortified by only a glass of moo-juice and a large cheddar & tomato flatcake.

  5. Eeuuchhh.

    This boy has just remembered why he’s a dedicated townie.

    (My father-in-law will now be spinning in his grave.)

    Erm, thanks . . . I think, pairubu

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