1. My mother once recommended I read The Little Lord Fauntleroy. I was an avid reader at the time, but then I saw the cover, featuring this apparently insufferable boy in long blonde locks and a huge dog, and I never got past it. Have you ever actually judged a book by its cover?
2. Who’s your best friend? Multiple answers are permitted.
3. Who do you write like? (click the link, which may not give you a scientifically correct answer) Apparently my “style” is akin to that of someone called William Gibson.
4. On a car trip, by brother and I imagined our ideal hip hop collaborations. Who would you recruit in your ideal band? Create as many as you want.
5. This is hard, make up your own question please, so the next ‘spiller can answer any one of the queries that came before him:
Blimey, the end of the week gets earlier and earlier… At least this gives me something to do while waiting for Mrs Abahachi’s book group to finish downstairs, so that I can come out of exile, get a glass of water and go to bed…
1.Will have to think about this one. Professionally, I do indeed judge lots of books by their covers (if it’s got gold embossed lettering, it’s not a serious work of history), but I’m not sure if I’ve ever done it with fiction.
2. This question makes me feel sad. Didn’t really have any friends at all up until about 16. Fell desperately in love with my best female friend in sixth form, didn’t end well for all sorts of complicated reasons. Lots of good friends (though never really a best one) at college, and I’m scarcely in touch with any of them now besides a couple of Facebook ‘friends’, which really doesn’t count. The one friend I’ve stayed more or less in touch with made things very complicated by falling in love with me, I then steered clear of him (yup) for a year or so, then he was the one person I could count on when trying to recover from a bout of depression, and it’s continued to be ever so slightly guilty and awkward ever since. And I desperately miss the sorts of conversations I used to have with friends back in college; the nearest I have, I suppose, is the colleague with whom I share a lift, but since half his conversation tends to revolve around the imminent funding crisis in universities, that’s not always an uplifting relationship either…
3. Thucydides: pretentious, convoluted, lots of unnecessary subordinate clauses (and parentheses).
4. Herbie Hancock, Ron Carter and Tony Williams, Sarah Vaughn on vocals, me on guitar.
5. How can I cheer myself up about Q.2?
5. Bristol Social!
I wonder how many of us would have at least 2 Miles associates in a potential ideal jazz band?
A5. A dog works.
Judging by the multi-layered, exponentially expanding nature of this thread, I’d say just stay on here indefinitely and you’re guaranteed never to feel alone.
5. I, like others, find that this place really helps. Especially as I find it really difficult to have meaningful conversations in English. I’m supposedly bilingual but there are times that I really, really need to say something in English and know that I will be understood!
Que?
That’s what I meant TY! It might sound silly but at times it’s incredibly frustrating, believe me…
1. Ugly book covers do put me off but I try to get past them. Truth be told I tend to read the blurb on the back more than look at the front cover. I used to work in publishing and read a lot of proof editions that tend to have plain printed covers. I’m more of a first chapter man myself. The list of books I’ve given up on after the first chapter is embarrassingly long.
2. This is going to sound dreadfully soppy but it’s Mrs M. Other than that (and no prizes for guessing) it’s Quique. I have few really close friends but I treasure their friendship.
3. Never thought about this one. Maybe you (all) could tell me?
4. I’ll have to give this one some thought.
5. When was the last time you laughed so much it hurt?
For 3. Click the link, Maki.
5. Probably at least 3 or 4 times a week. Can’t remember what it was the last itme, probably something unpostanle anyway.
*unpostable
I just got buked by WordPress for the first time. It say “You’re posting too fast. Please slow down.”
5. Whilst on vacation playing Apples To Apples with my kids.
Often my girlfriend and I will get on a flight of fancy, rewording the lyrics of songs to fit a momentary theme in our day, and sometimes we work ourselves up to such hilarity that she always says, “That’s comedy gold – write it down!” and I never do because the explanation of the context for any such moment would kill the joke. Hence, I can’t remember what it was that last got me in that state.
5. It may have been while watching a film, I want to say Tropic Thunder. I have regular short bursts of extreme laughter, but not long enough to inflict pain.
5: Watching Eddie Izzard explaining Stonehenge
3. H.P.Lovecraft, apparently. Incredulous and flattered!
1. Oh yeah, loads … but none that spring to mind in my current tired state. To wander offline slightly, I used to do it with albums a lot; a recentish one being when I took the plunge with a band I’d never of just before last year’s Leeds RR gathering – I was browsing the CDs at my usual haunt, and came across the band called The Grim Northern Social.
2. Julie, or DsMam to the rest of you! The question has affected me just the same as it has Abahachi, strangely, and thus I don’t really feel like going into the long history version of the answer, which would involve another Richard I still know but don’t see, a Dave who’s dead, Gordon and my other Uni housemates, and a joke about having a Best Bird, rather than a Best Man, at my wedding.
3. HA! I write like a transcribed version of one of Eddie Izzard’s stage rambles; I get to the point eventually, but via so many false starts, diversions and verbal cul-de-sacs, that listeners/readers have usually lost the will to live by then.
4. I always seem to default to a desire to resurrect the dead when this question crops up, putting together heavy rock bands with line-ups like Bon Scott (AC/DC, vocals), Randy Rhoads (Ozzy, guitar), John Bonham (Zep, drums), Phil Lynott (Lizzy, bass). If I get a chance tomorrow night, I may come back with a couple of more considered answers.
5. Is anyone in the Wolverhampton area this Weds or Thurs for a drink after work?
Ed’s analyzer says Chuck Palahniuk for the DsD style. I’m off over to Wiki to see who he . . .
Jeez-us. Anyone know a good psychiatrist?
I see he’s the one who wrote Fight Club, hmmm…
1. DsD I was going to ask the question What’s the best album you ever bought completely on spec – i.e. unheard, not knowing the band or any of the songs? in another EOTWQ post. For me, it was Swamp Rock by The Tail Gators on vinyl in about 1980.
Believe it or not, I’d never heard The Smiths before buying their debut album on the strength of a friend’s recommendation.
For me it was “In the world” by Olu Dara. Bought on the strength of the cover
and the price (3 euros). By paying three euros for the cd, which I love, I avoided paying 6 or 7 for the privilege of using the supermarket’s car park while teaching in an office block next door!
Coincidenatally, this Digested Read was on the Guardian today – Tell All by Chuck P. Some of the times i laugh till it hurts come from this Digested Read series.
Here’s an imaginary band: Tony Williams (d), Ron Carter (b), Herbie Hancock (p,k) Miles Davis (tp), Cannonball Adderley (alto s), and just to change it up a bit, because this is ridiculously Miles-centric, Ali Farka Touré on guitar.
[EDIT] Also,Tony Williams (d), James Jamerson (he of the Funk Brothers) (b), Shuggie Otis (lead guitar), whoever plays the lick on James Brown’s The Boss on rhythm guitar, Bobby Womack on vocals
1- Well, i’d have to say anything that looks like a bodice ripper.
2- Between best friends right now. Have plenty of people around, but crawl off to solitude whenever possible.
3- Good lord, Stephen King. Never read any of his books, but Carrie the movie was ace. I am definitely no writer, but i plugged in a sample from from some long winded posts i wrote on the art blog. Never expected that one, don’t know if it’s good or bad.
4- Well, depends what kind of band i want. Try for rock then. Me – impresario. Vocals – Rod Stewart, Robert Plant, Stevie Mariott. Rhythm – Keef. Lead – hmmm. that’s the key post, need a think if i have to post just one. Bass – Bootsie. Drums – Bonham.
5. First one in my head (thanks, Tin) – Who’s Your Daddy?
4. duh-oh. Lead guitar Hendrix.
1. I should make it clear that anything that looks like a bodice ripper i avoid like the plague.
3. Smokes, that’s driving me crazy!! I put in a long passage from children’s chapter book I was working on and got…James Joyce! No wonder I can’t make it as a children’s book author/illustrator.
Oddly addictive, that bizarre analyzer.
1. Of course. How else to choose library books?
2. Don’t have a good record – two previous BFs left Europe! One’s in Oz, the other in Vietnam. Current males: Tiddly-Tap Tony, Big Ciaran. Current females: Kirsten, Lysandra. None of this includes BigBroBach or LittleBroBach, on both of whose shoulders I have literally cried as an adult.
3. David Foster Wallace, apparently:
On occasion the reader is left in the dust wondering where the story went, as the author, literary turbochargers on full-blast, suddenly accelerates into the wild-blue-footnoted yonder in pursuit of some obscure metafictional fancy.
You’ve read my blog entries; is that fair?
4. Egos set to one side, all alive, and not more than one from any band:
Drums – Can’t think…
Bass – Norman Watt-Roy
Guitar – John Fogerty, Steve Cropper, Me
Piano – Dr John (and vocal)
Vocal – Aretha Franklin, Mavis Staples
Harmonica – Kim Wilson
5 (answers). @Aba – remember, we love you
@Maki – two weekends ago at local music festival. Don’t remember why, but it was to do with a local ‘Viking Metal’ band.
@DsD – Sorry, no
@Amy – Biologically, TheRevBach, but he’s dead. Tinny’s in loco.
5 (question). Tea and toast, or coffee and cake?
5. Java, definitely, so i guess the cake to go with it. I have only read excerpts of David Foster Wallace, (couldn’t yet be arsed to slog thru 1100 pages) but he is funny. Take it as a complement.
Can I get Tea and cake please? As long as the cake doesn’t contain any liqueur, or mixes chocolate with fruits.
5) all four! At once!
5. either or
Depends on the time of day and location; Kaffee und Kuchen in the morning in Germany, tea and cake in the afternoon in Somerset.
Agreed it depends on the place, but assuming I’m not somewhere else, tea and toast would be the morning choice, coffee and cake for the afternoon, and a tiger to beat a lion in a straight fight.
As I drink buckets of very strong black coffee, I’d answer coffee and toast!
5. Breakfast: Coffee and toasted baguette rubbed with tomato with lashings of olive oil on top – yeah I went native yonks ago!
Afternoon: Coffee and cakes or if I have the time Tea and fresh made scones – yeah you can’t take the England out of this boy!
5 Coffee and walnut cake! And coffee!
2. I keep thinking of this (let’s see if this works!) I love these questions and promise to have proper answers tomorrow.
Hey, It worked!!
1. Last one was Demon On The Waters -true story of a mutiny on the whaleship Globe.
2. I consider myself a truly lucky man ’cause in addition of having found Mrs. Fintan & never having to look back I have two fiends I’ve known for more than 50 years each & I’ve laughed in the face of the universe with all 3. Not that I want to but, if I was to lose contact with any of them I feel I could pick up today’s conversation where it left off with not much trouble.
3. Ok this is wierd ’cause the link returned the afore mentioned William Gibson who wiki refers to as the “noir prophet of cyberpunk”. Kinda like that.
4. Well I want an interesting straight up rock line up with good blues roots. So dual guitars both capable of lead or rhythm – I’ll go with Jorma Kaukonen & Duane Allman. On bass I can’t go wrong with Jorma’s pal Jack Cassidy ’cause he can rock the house. Drums I’d have to with the true glue of the rolling stones Charlie Watts & his budda smile.
I’m stuck on Vocalist. Ok – Van Morrison great vocals , Keyboards , harmonica & sax. Special sessions vocalist Dinah Washington ’cause I’d love to see what she would have done as a rocker.
Ok Amy -SPOOKY- How’d you know it was me. I’ll go with Peter Lawford.
5. You’ve just returned from vacation or holiday & still have a couple days of clean clothes left in your suitcase. Do they go back in the drawers or closet, in the wash or stay in the suitcase till you’ve used ‘em?
Ok tho’ they’ve been known to be fiendishly clever I meant friends. Kevin & Marty the names. & I wanto play marimba in the band. Do we answer all questions # 5 or just the one prior?
5. Are you looking for advice here by chance? Or an excuse? Me, they go in the wash, then get piled up unfolded on the chair. And basically stay there there till i wear them again. Could be a year or so down the road.
They stay in the suitcase until I’ve used them which could be months after I’ve arrived, this way, if they’re season-appropriate, no need to repack, I don’t really like unpacking, or packing for that matter. It looks like Amy and me would make a fine pair of roommates, we could use mounds of clothes as furniture.
You can answer whichever ones you want fintan.
Probably the suitcase, although both this and the judgement of what’s clean would depend on whether the unpacking process is being supervised or if I’m left to my own devices.
5 They stay in the suitcase till I next go on holiday, at which I’m very surprised and pleased to find them again.
3. Each of the four examples I provided came back with a different author. Which means either I write differently, maybe dependent on the purpose, or…
I will try the others but I’m struggling with number 2. Slightly re-assuring to find others in similar boats. And I’ll be predictable when answering 4.
Here’s my question 5, then, to settle my quandary.
For what purposes would you write like:
a) Stephen King?
b) Cory Doctorow?
c) David Foster Wallace?
d) H. P. Lovecraft?
Who on earth is Cory Doctorow?
A. Goth
B. A play called Waiting for E. L.
C. Gospel
D. Psychedelia
The range of reference is all very US-centric, isn’t it?
Having just played with the thing myself, I suspect that anyone who writes sentences of more than average length gets “H.P.Lovecraft”. Why not Henry James, for goodness’ sake? Of course, given that this is a website intended to flatter you into a bit of vanity publishing, it’s bound to offer comparisons that are generally complimentary and pretty familiar – what it isn’t going to say is that your writing resembles Enid Blyton.
Oooh, it seems I write like Anne Rice too! I’m obviously either a literary chameleon or I have no style at all….
Enjoyed the game though. Back later.
i got Cory Doctorow :
Cory Doctorow – is a Canadian blogger, journalist, and science fiction author who serves as co-editor of the blog Boing Boing. He is an activist in favour of liberalising copyright laws and a proponent of the Creative Commons organisation, using some of their licences for his books. Some common themes of his work include digital rights management, file sharing, and post-scarcity economics
The webcomic xkcd occasionally features a partially fictional version of Doctorow who lives in a hot air balloon “up in” the blogosphere (“above the tag clouds”) and wears a red cape and goggles, such as in the comic “Blagofaire”.
When Doctorow won the 2007 EFF Pioneer Award, the presenters gave him a red cape, goggles and a balloon.
xkcd again featured Cory in its January 7, 2009 image title text saying “Steve Jobs should be better soon — now that the Apple Store is getting rid of DRM, Cory Doctorow will get rid of his Steve Jobs voodoo doll.
1. Yes, whenever I see, on the cover of her books, that Martina Cole is “the woman who tells it like it is” I tend to come to the judgement that it’s not a book I’m going to be reading.
2. Well, partner-aggrandising duties make for one obvious answer, but otherwise, I have, for longevity though by no means regular mutual support, my best friend since the age of 5, with whom I still have a brotherly intimacy although, twat that he is, he didn’t let on that he’d had (or was even expecting) a daughter in May until a couple of weeks later when I’d got in touch to wish him a happy birthday. In terms of closeness, though again not geographical nor constant contact, the friends I made at university and have kept since are the people I have in mind when I say “us” and there’s one in particular with whom I shared the most in terms of humour and growing up experiences.
3. I put in a short story and I came out as James Joyce (it’s a comparison I’ve had before, to be fair, though I wouldn’t have made it myself for that particular story) and I put in a poem and I came out as another David Foster Wallace, who’s not a poet.
4. Oh, there’s so many that I’m going to have to circumvent this by saying that if I could be a Pip behind Gladys Knight while she belted out You’re The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me and Midnight Train To Georgia, that would do me very nicely. Woo-woo!
In answer to the Chris pass-the parcel question:
(a) Stephen King – for the purposes of scaring the bejeesus out of some readers instead of my bank manager
(b) Cory Doctorow – for the purpose of finding out who Cory Doctorow is and then for the purposes of impressing a Diane Keaton in Sleeper type I’d imagine might be hovering around the same scene
(c) David Foster Wallace – see Q3, it seems already a done deal.
(d) H P Lovecraft – again would have to be an impress-a-chick answer – this time, the assumption is I’ve fallen for an emo who looks a bit like a (live action) version of Vanessa Doofenshmirtz from Phineas & Ferb –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taEKZZ728hU –
and I’d figured scribbling some weird fiction will score me some points.
5. My question for the hereafter…
Having just seen Toy Story 3 I’m getting animated about the following considerations:
Who is your favourite….
(a) Simpsons character
(b) Toy Story character
(c) Muppet?
Answer any or all (or obviously none – jeez, it’s a free country….)
Chef from South Park or the hippie teacher from Beevis and Butthead.
a) Probably Lisa, but for sheer funniness…the Wiggims – Ralph and his dad. They crack me UP!
b) The springy dog or Woody’s horse. (did you like the movie, May? I cried a lot)
c) I feel like everybody is going to say Animal, but he’s the best for me. (as Isaac would phrase it)
steen, I was debating with myself yesterday whether this now makes Toy Story the most satisfying movie franchise ever providing you don’t count Kieslowski’s Three Colours or Decalogue as franchises. Whatever, I did love it, didn’t cry cos I tend not to, but did gasp once or twice, so full marks.
For the record:
(a) Edna Krabappel
(b) Hamm
(c) Beaker
A. I have to confess to only watching the Simpsons a few times so I don’t know the name but the kid who’s always sucking the pacifier just cracks me up.
B. Drawing a blank.
C. The swedish chef.
Tend to over-identify with Principal Skinner. Never seen the whole of Toy Story or its sequel, but I rather felt for the wheezy penguin. Sam the Eagle (“Weidos 1, Civilization 0″).
This is one of those Rorschach blot things, isn’t it?
1. Ralph Wiggum is wonderful
2. I really enjoyed Toy Story 3 – more than the other two. It’s tempting to say Ken for his wardrobe scene but i’ve always liked the springy dog.
3. The Swedish chef
a)My first favourite was Bart, obviously, now I have a soft spot for Flanders. The Wiggums are great too.
b)Haven’t seen TS3 yet, but 2 was on on Sunday, I’ll go with the Springy dog too.
c) I’m not that familiar with the Muppets, and the few memories I have of it are in French, so I’ll go for Animal, or the two old men on the balcony.
(a) Simpsons character
Smithers
(b) Toy Story character
If you’re male and you don’t identify with Woody then you need help!
(c) Muppet?
Statler and/or Waldorf – my friend (mentioned above – or possibly below – who knows where we are right now?) and I were recently compared to them. Not in a flattering way, I hasten to add …
a) Maggie, transformed into Stewie from Family Guy.
b) Not familiar enough with the characters to have a view.
c) Animal, transformed into Vince from Mongrels (“Who are you calling a c**t?”)
[Yes, this is a shameless attempt to generate interest in Mongrels, which is wonderful and on BBC3 tonight.]
a Marge
b Buzz
c Kermit
I just thought of a better #5 than my earlier question.
5. Ok, you’ve picked your dream band. Now pick your band from hell.
5. Dickie Lee
Beatles/Queen/Who
Spandau Ballet, with Mariah Carey guesting, call back to the stage the Goss Bros, members of Steps, Girls Aloud and The Backstreet Boys, and, no wait… it can’t be… but it is! the original Spice Girls!
All together now; “I’ll tell you wha’ I wan’, wha’ I really, really wan’….”
Sorry, I need a lie down.
5. Ok, you’ve picked your dream band. Now pick your band from hell.
The Rolling Stones – any line up you care to mention
Wait a minute, you poached my dream band…
1. I bought “Lud in the Mist” by Hope Mirlees because I liked the cover, and it turned out to be very good in a moralistic fairy tale sort of way. And Hope Mirlees was an interesting character too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope_Mirrlees
2. Julie. We’ve known each other since we were 11. Unfortunately we now live 200 miles apart, but maybe that’s why our friendship has lasted. She’s almost as weird as I am.
3. Norman MacCaig, apparently – which someone said disparagingly to me once at a poetry workshop. But I took it as a complement.
4. Roy Harper, the female vocalist from Mazzy Star whose name escapes me, Jimmy Page, Ali Farka Toure and Alison Krauss. Should be interesting.
5. My band from hell would involve Morrisey, Meatloaf and Whitney Houston. Shudder.
6. Do you have a cutlery drawer and, if so, do you have knives, then forks, or forks, then knives? Or a big muddle?
It goes, spoons-knives-forks, starting from the left.
Greatest question ever:
from the left – forks, knives, desert spoons, tea spoons.
Miscellaneous (tin opener, garlic press, paddles for electric beater, skewers, spare knife for peeling potatoes); forks; knives; spoons. Plus small compartment at the bottom for teaspoons, corkscrews, bottle opener etc.
The most important factor is that the knives MUST come in between the forks and the spoons. I’m fairly liberal about the other arrangements.
From the left: spoons, forks, knives, for no particular reason, with teaspoons and child cutlery at the front. Then a slightly dangerous mess of other utensils all around. I had no idea this was an issue people had strong feelings about.
Strange, I could have sworn you were English.
Back to front: soup spoons, knives, forks, dessert and tea spoons.
Sorry Ejaydee, I’ve just seen the link – apparently I write like James Joyce, which is scary.
1. It’s funny how different cultures view this; a German friend once took my copy of The English Patient for “airport fiction”, because of the photomontage on the cover. For her, serious novels had just a plain cover with text, or at the most a blue-note style b/w photo with restrained type.
2. My best and longest friendship has been going since I was about ten, and has shaped my musical, film and literary tastes more than any other influence.
3. My blog style gets a Wallace. I’d rather be compared to Chandler. I don’t think I’ll ever write another blog, I’m totally disillusioned now.
4. Just for interest’s sake I’ve avoided (most of) the big names and have gone for Ninja Tune’s latest signing, kind of a noughties Weather Report.
Drums/Perc- Trilok Gurtu and Airto
Bass- Squarepusher
Guitar- Charlie Christian
Keys/loops- Madlib
Saxes- Wayne Shorter
MC Solaar as guest rapper.
5. Band from Hell.
Drums- Phil Collins (plus backing vocals)
Bass- Flea (so annoying to look at, I don’t mind how he plays)
Guitar and Guitar synth- Pat Metheny (sorry Pat. I’m taking your late eighties synth period).
Piano- Billy Joel. (Again, no slight on the musicianship necessarily, just that teeth jarring pneumatic hammer style boogie woogie).
Singer- Lena Meyer-Landrut. (That wierdly pronounced English, slightly nasal delivery, irritatingly twee dancing- with this Frankenstein’s monster of a band, it’s the icing on the cake).
Question- when was the last time you hand-wrote someone a letter, and what (roughly) was the subject?
My initial thought on the Band from Hell was something like the Stereophonics, but this suggests amuch more interesting way of approaching the question: perfectly decent, if not brilliant, musicians who really wouldn’t be able to play together properly and would end up either killing one another or being lynched by the audience. So…
Drums: Doktor Avalanche
Bass: Jimmy Blanton
Keyboards: Cecil Taylor
Guitar: Ritchie Blackmore
Vocals: Mariah Carey
I miss writing letters properly – and, yes, this runs the risk of catapulting me back to the mood of Q.2 again – but the last one, like most of the others in the last couple of years, was certainly to my grandmother, just talking about what we’ve been doing since we last saw her (heavily edited and santised, of course).
More thoughts on dream bands, following Nilpferd’s lead in being a bit more contemporary… I’d love to hear Tomasz Stanko playing with Food (Ian Ballamy on sax, Tomas Stronen on percussion and electronics); not inconceivable, as they’re both on ECM and Stanko did have a phase of playing with an electric/electronic band, back in the days when unfortunately they sounded largely rubbish.
Well, i am not a writer, so i don’t write letters, i email. But i do exchange cards every few months with a friend in London, filling up a card is about the most i can manage. Subject, hi, what’s going on, how is everything, cats. Expressing myself with words is difficult for me, probably why i stick to the visual arts.
But i can also maybe blame my business major at university. We had to take business writing, and eliminate most adjectives and stick to action verbs. Probably killed any creative writing talent i may have had.
And that brings up an even better #5 i should have thought of before, or put on my own EOTWQ’s last week, it’s one of my favorite questions for people. What was your college major?
Action verbs and eliminating adjectives? I wish…
I have to copyedit a fair amount of business writing, and it’s all verbs made from nouns (impact, leverage) and pointless adjectives (robust, meaningful, innovative).
My “college major” was drama/theatre studies (half theory, half practical, but not acting).
Amylee – As I was too thick to go to university, I majored in the usual teenage things – drinking, smoking, girls and rock & roll. Of these, I don’t drink any more!
Mitch-
I went to university, but majored in all of those things too. Sub guys for girls, and throw in some drugs as i was born in the 60′s.
Maki –
I took French for a language, in retrospect kind of stupid, Spanish would have been a lot more useful in the US, especially as i lived in both NYC and California for a good chunk of time. I do know some kitchen spanish and plenty of the swear words. If i ever get to Paris, I could still maybe find my way to the Louvre and order off of a menu, and that’s about it. I think in French sometimes too, and can read a bit of it, but still need a dictionary. And they lost me somewhere around the subjunctive tense too.
I forgot to post my own major(s).
Started as a studio art major (painting and printmaking), but short of senior seminars, switched to business admin (marketing), and that’s what i got my piece of paper in. Did grad work for a few years after in physics and engineering, but never got the grad degree.
Two years of history, then switched to classics – which was mostly history with a bit of archaeology. Mrs Abahachi, who got a proper Latin degree, is still furious that I’m allowed to present myself as a classicist – despite the fact that I wouldn’t dream of doing so – when I didn’t do any language or literature at college.
I did an honours degree in mathematics followed by a degree in architecture.
There’s nothing I love more than counting bricks.
International Relations, a lot of good that did me.
barbryn-
Bullshit seems to have become a lot more sophisticated since i was in b-school. But i still remember ad copywriting being a load of crap too.
CInema studies and English.
I stopped my formal education as soon as I could (i.e. as soon as I was 16). I hated it. Almost everything I know, I’ve taught myself through reading and talking to other people about life. It’s worked out quite well really. Six books published and number seven in the pipeline …
History – I did an OU degree, where you can pick-and-mix, and it was the history courses I liked best (though I hated it at school). I’ve got two postgraduate thingies too – one history again and one education.
Good for you, ToffeeBoy. Big kudos.
I’m another theatre studies/drama. About to take the plunge and apply to start a PhD in Applied Theatre in Manchester Uni next year. A bit scary committing to 7 years though!
Ooh, exodus, that sounds like a great way of spending the next 7 years – do you think you could sneak me in?
That sounds wonderful, Exodus!!
We should do some joint ‘spill production. A film (says the filmmaker) starring Bishbosh and Snadfrod and barbryn (oh, wait, you said NOT acting) but interspersed with puppetry courtesy of Exodus with TFD as his apprentice, Sets built brick-by-brick by Nilpferd and painted by Shane, soundtrack by Williamsbach (well, we’ll probably all contribute to that). And I was hoping to get May and Toffee attached as writers, but we might need to have quite a few writers on board for this one. And let’s see, Amylee and Goneforeign can handle the still photography, research by Abahachi, of course, Ejay can be our international rep…
Sounds like Spillharmonic should branch out into film! Pity the film funding’s all just been cut.
Unfortunately the PhD isn’t a case of giving up work & going back to college, I’ll still be working whilst doing it. It’s described as a ‘Professional Doctorate’, aimed at practitioners working in the field; the idea being that you use your practice as the basis for your research, so I’m pretty sure I’m committing to seven years of extra work, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while & the circumstances seem right about now.
Last handwritten letter was to my parents just full of general chit chat. We keep in touch by phone and email of course but I got into the habit of writing to them when away at boarding school and have tried hard to keep it up. My mother, who is in her eighties, still manages a letter a week to each of us (there are five of us). If she’s tired they may be short but they’re normally lovely, bright missives full of inconsequential but essential snippets of family goings on and, increasingly, dollops of sage advice. I treasure them.
Amy I read Spanish at university. Which probably explains a lot.
It was a letter of condolence – I couldn’t do one of those on the computer.
Sorry Ejay, left my italics open.
1. I *love* book covers – particularly Penguin ones and pretty much collect anything with the Penguin Classics / Modern Classics format (black and red, silver or white bindings). In that sense, i definitely gear my acquisitions towards the covers. It’d be financially ruinous if i didn’t work downstairs from their head office and have access to their remainders pile.
2. Going for the obvious answer, it’d have to be Claire, my girlfriend, m’anam chara and all-round light of my life. My best male friend is the guy i sat next to at school when i was eleven and have been close to ever since. He’s a music promoter, part-time actor and a fantastic friend.
3. Another one for H.P Lovecraft. Tried four different pieces and got the same result each time. Strange as i didn’t use the words ‘slithering’ or ‘cyclopean’ once. I probably shouldn’t have included all those racist rants about Chinese people – that might have tipped the balance.
4. Hmm. Mylene Farmer and Faye Wong on vocals, Giorgio Moroder and Cerrone on synths.
5. I made a great-looking chicken in black-pepper sauce for Claire on Sunday. Being a vegetarian i couldn’t actually taste it during creation so slightly misjudged the level of heat – meaning she had to consume two litres of ice-water to finish it. What’s the hottest thing you can recall eating?
A kebab on the way home from a night out in Liverpool. And the moral of the story is – be very polite to the charming young lady who is serving you your kebab, at least until it’s wrapped and in your personal possession…
I make a pretty mean vindaloo – though the great advantage of making it yourself is that you can get the sour taste while regulating the heat, so I imagine is a lot less hot than one from an Indian restaurant, but it suits us.
My parents have a story about the early years of their married life, when my mother made chilli con carne; they didn’t have chilli powder, as called for by the recipe, so used the same amount of cayenne pepper. Result: completely inedible chilli, but they couldn’t afford to throw it out, so diluted it with more and more tins of tomatoes and kidney beans until it was bearable, then ate it for about a week and a half…
Probably a raw jalapeno when i thought it was a regular pepper.
One of my 2 best friends mentioned above is married to a thai lady. She only makes this dish once or twice a year when she gets the proper Thai peppers to make it with. Not sure of the spelling-Pak A Pao I’d say. Anyway she know’s I’m fond of the heat & marvels at the only “falangh” she’s met who’ll eat it.
I can’t remember a specific food, but when I cut up chili peppers, I tend to forget that my fingers are dangerous, and I’ll rub my eyes and blind myself for a few minutes.
Scotch bonnet peppers. There is (or was) a Jamaican bloke with a stall in Aylesbury market, and I’d heard of them but never seen them before. He didn’t want to let me have half a pound, but I said I was going to split them between my children (which I did) so he relented.
I looked at my share and decided I’d cook them all at once and then freeze them in icecube trays. I fried them, and while they were cooking I had to go outdoors because of the fumes. But they were great in curries!
1. Must admit, anything by Catherine Cookson, Danielle Steel and Eric Von Lustbader I tend to avoid. Years ago, anything by Micky Spillane, too.
2. Up until I was 21, I had a friend called Bill McGuire. He got a job in Australia and I had a dream that he sent me a letter saying he liked it out there and would be staying for a while. It was just at that point that he was being killed by sharks. The spookiest thing that’s ever happened to me. Up until January this year (and for the past 39 years) I would have said Di. Also, and for the past 10 years, RollinDanny and I have been good mates.
3. Three Americans who write about musical history, Steve Propes, Jim Marshall and Nick Tosches (although I wouldn’t refer to Joe Turner as a “Big Fat Fuck” as Tosches did in one book I’ve got).
4. Gene Vincent or Eddie Cochran on vocals, Mick Green – lead, Moi on bass, Sandy Nelson on drums and Huey Smith, Alan Toussaint or Fats on piano (Jerry Lee would want to take over). Waiting in the wings I’d have Lavern Baker and Jackie de Shannon ready to come in with their vocals. It’d be a package show.
5. Does anybody here remember “Billy Bean & His Funny Machine” (without Googling it)?
I should add, I just clicked the link for question three, put in the introduction for the book what I is writing and it said I write like Stephen King – coo.
5 Did he have a hat like an old-time US engine driver?
Ha! This is an unholy mess, but I like it. It looks like iwl.me only have a limited amount of writers in their database, we seem to have a lot of James Joyces.
There seems to be a lot of duplicates, i’m starting to get the suspicion that there are actually only about 5 authors in the analyzer.
This is a mad tapestry of a thread. David Foster Wallace would be proud.
1. I had exactly the same reaction to Little Lord Fauntleroy! It was a different cover, but he looked basically the same. I frequently judge books by their covers. Embossed lettering, the author’s name in huge type, guns and lipstick are generally to be avoided.
I temped for a year in a book distributors, and got pretty sharp at categorising books by genre according to their titles on credit notes.
2. I went to the wedding of a friend who I’ve known since pre-school last month, which was great – but I wouldn’t say I’ve ever had a *best* friend.
3. My last blog post was Douglas Adams. My unpublished novel is Jane Austen, the book I’m writing at the moment is David Foster Wallace (despite the lack of footnotes) and a report I wrote for WWF is apparently in the style of Arthur C. Clarke (possibly because it includes the word “planet”). Not sure about that link…
4. I was taken with that Jeff Buckley-Liz Frazer collaboration, so I’ll have them as twin vocalists, with maybe Johnny Greenwood on lead guitar, Kim Deal on bass and the drummer from The National. Rufus Wainwright can sit in on piano but mustn’t hog the limelight. I’ve picked a team rather than star players here.
5. Question – in the light of the fact that you actually can judge a book by its cover, what proverb or saying particularly annoys you?
Answer – coffee and cake, though sometimes tea and toast is the best thing in the world.
Lately its “The Elephant in the room”. Also hate “this is a wake-up call” and “24/7″
Also, I can’t abide “You are in a queue. Your call is important to us, please hold the line” (cue crap music)
And another I’ve just thought of “Our thoughts and sympathies are with X’s family. Rest assured our staff have been retrained and we are sure this sort of thing will never happen again”. That one is trotted out after every avoidable tragedy.
Oh yes and “We have been left with a massive deficit by the previous government, blah blah blah……….”
The second I hear “At the end of the day” I want to end the speaker’s day.
‘At the end of the day…’ and ‘When push comes to shove…’ were pet phrases for an ex-boss of mine, and are therefore pet hates for me.
get “proactive” I think “active” works fine on it’s own. It’s like “Xtreme” anything – don’t like that either.
5. LOL and
(I’ve been known to use both, and the smiley after a nasty comment).
oops, that was mine.
I thought LOL meant lots of love…
(no wonder txt sex never worked well)
At this moment in time
Here’s a new-ish band, Hot Chip on synths, the dude from the xx on guitar, and if he’s not available, Vini Reilly. J Dilla on drum programming, dubstep producer Skream on bass, and why not Lil Wayne on vocals.
A funky one, Bootsie, nabbed from Amy’s band on bass, steal Giorgio Moroder from SV80′s, Prince on vocals and guitar, Nile Rodgers (from Chic) on guitar.
I thought about Prince on guitar and vocals too, and maybe just let him write all of the songs as well.
Would it be greedy to add Roger Troutman for backing vocals?
Go for it. I had never heard of him before, googled him, and saw he did the chorus of California Love. So he’s in.
But can we also add in Ray Davis who did the bass vocals with Funkadelic?
And now i’m thinking Parliament, where there are like 20 backing vocalists. So maybe Chaka Khan too?
You may know Troutman as a member of Zapp. I was thinking about Chaka Khan too, she’s in.
Oh and I forgot to add, special guest MCs, Snoop Dogg and Big Boi.
I think i’d take Chuck D for MC.
This would be my ass shakin’ funky mix..
Idris Mohammad on drums.
Don um Romao percussion.
Reggie Lucas rhythm guitar.
Paul Jackson on bass.
George Duke keyboards.
Eddie Harris saxes, electronics.
Betty Davis fronting.
The Mizell brothers producing, putting in a disco edge.
I’m frowning already
George would solo on Keytar, there’d be some sexy dancing between him and Betty.
She’d also take care of the guitar solos.
Wo! This is the most magnificent mess of a thread I’ve ever read.
1. I am hugely swayed by the cover of a book – I mainly buy non-fiction these days (I have enough fiction on the bookshelves to keep me going for the rest of my life) and I tend to scour the history section for anything that looks a bit different. If it has the portrait of a king on the cover, it’s probably not the book for me …
2. Other than the obvious answer (i.e. ToffeeGirl) I have a number of good friends that I’ve picked up at various stages of my life. My brothers can always be relied on and I’ve made some really good friends through the various jobs I’ve done. The co-manager of my girls’ football team is as good as they get – politically, musically, sense of humourly (?) – the only problem is that he supports Man Utd …
3. Put me down as another HP Lovecraft. I was hoping for Charles Dickens, Thomas Hardy, John Steinbeck or even P G Wodehouse – but I suppose I can’t have everything.
4. Great question – I’m not really a musician person but here goes:
- Grant McLennan – Guitar and Vocals
- Johnny Marr – Guitar and Harmonica
- Stuart Murdoch – Piano
- Martin McAloon – Bass
- Gilson Lavis – Drums
Random, I know …
5. In answer to barbryn’s question (you see, I’m playing the game properly
), there’s not much that annoys me more than the Americanism “I could care less” – it doesn’t make sense! You don’t mean that!!! Aaaarrghhhh!!!!!
I like your band ToffeeBoy – could we add a female backing vocalist? (I’m thinking Harriet Wheeler or Kirsty MacCall)
Re “I could care less”. Confused negatives like that annoy me too – e.g. “I’ll miss not doing x”, when what they mean is “I’ll miss doing it”.
Apparently women travel round shops clockwise and men go anti-clockwise. Or possibly vice versa. But an awful lot of research goes into this stuff. I used to enjoy wandering randomly, but since having kids, it’s make a list and get round as quickly as possible, avoiding snacks and Fifi/Peppa Pig/Thomas/Etc. branded goods.
I think Kirsty’s in!
And/or, how about Natalie Merchant?
Ooh – yes. Natalie Merchant would fit in well. I think that Sean O’Hagan might come in useful as a multi-instrumentalist/producer.
I like where you’re going with Grant Mclennan/Johnny Marr.
I’d add The Triffids’ Evil Graham Lee on pedal steel, Hamish Kilgour of The Clean on drums, and Steve Kilbey on bass/vocals for sort of a supercharged Jack Frost.
They’d do melodic, wistful electric country rock with an edge.
Not unlike Big Point Mississippi, in fact.
Well we’d better have StripeyBrat from Ko Ko Mo (I Love You So) on backing vocals. Or on the tour bus, anyway …
There’s a risk Stripey will have “older woman issues” with Kirsty.
Shop-wise I always go straight to the meat counter and leer at the ladies. At least I will once I turn 60.
I think I’m starting to lose track of these threads and I have to go shopping now..
“I could care less” is doubly lazy and annoying, because what it’s supposed to be is “I couldn’t care less,” which is still annoying but does make sense.
Oops – here’s my question 5.
When you go food shopping, do you have a pre-planned route around the shop – or do you let the mood take you?
Deliberate randomness – if that isn’t a contradiction in terms – in order to ward off the attempts of the evil psychologists to predict and manipulate my buying habits.
I’ll dond Abahachi’s method though I refer to it (much like my driving) as controlled drift.
I buy the same things every week, mostly, and so I do the same route and go as quickly as I can. Also, I leave my trolley at the end of the row and go foraging without it. But I don’t leave it where it’ll be in anyone’s way, obviously.
1. I’m sure I have. When looking for a novel (I’m probably more analytical with non-fiction), I try to channel the reviews I’ve read and hope to find a title or author that have positive ones (although memory failure often scuppers that plan). But I know I can be turned away from a book because I don’t like the cover, or the fact that it’s quoted reviews are from the Daily Mail, Esquire, or some other publication I don’t respect.
2. I don’t have one and it’s probably a long time since I did. I have a habit of letting people drift away, usually by making no effort to stay in touch. I’m not sure I could alter that even if I tried.
3. Anyone and no-one, apparently. I often aim for Kurt Vonnegut. His style, that is.
4. The problem here is that the GD (1972 version) is my ideal band to play in but I wouldn’t have a role with Garcia and Weir filling all the gaps that needed filling. A Miles grouping would be too much of a challenge, I suspect.
5. Did this upthread, so I’ll answer TB’s question. The advantage with most supermarkets having a similar layout is that it’s quite easy to get want you want quickly and then exit. I make a list beforehand and don’t browse.
I worked in Retail computing for a while. The lengths some companies will go to in order to track, analyse and manipulate shopping patterns is impressive/depressing. That may be why I don’t hang around.
Seeing as you mentioned it..
The best Miles group would need to do the muscular things and the ballads equally well, so I’m not necessarily going for the best individual musicians.
I’d put Philly Joe on drums as he had a slight edge over Tony Williams on the slower tracks, but could rock out as well as anyone. Plus he always brought out the best in Miles.
Ron Carter on bass beats out Marcus Miller or Paul Chambers.
Keith Jarrett gets the nod on keyboards for combining Bill Evans’ lyricism, Hancock’s R&B sensibilities and bringing his own ecstatic folk inflected ideas, but he’ll have to shut his mouth and play electric if I say so.
Sax-wise I can’t decide between Coltrane and Shorter so I’ll ditch both and give the job to Kenny Garrett, who stood out on the late eighties live recordings and absorbed Parker, Coltrane and Adderley into his style.
No guitar or second sax as it really needs to be a quintet.
What about Dave Holland as a leftfield bass choice? And I’d still be tempted to bring in McLaughlin for occasional bursts of guitar.
I’ll give you Holland, but he played with Jarrett and in the absence of any other defining criteria I at least wanted to form a band whose members never played together.
Funny re Mclaughlin, I had exactly that “get him in to do the odd burst” line but I edited it out.
Though with Holland and Jarrett, they’d go free too often.. Ron would keep Jarrett honest. I’m keeping Ron in there.
You can put Dave in with Chick and Sam Rivers for the “out there” quintet.
So who would be in a ballad special Miles band: Tony Williams, Bill Evans…
George Coleman always had a lovely way with a ballad, some of his playing on My Funny Valentine or Antibes is beautiful.
Pierre Michelot as a wild card on bass for that Ascenseur feel.
There it is! I know have to use ctrl-f on this thread, this is ridiculous. Anyway, love the Pierre Michelot shout.
Cheers Ejay! Great thread, the nested posting and the ever increasing number of questions made it completely bonkers, in a very enjoyable way.
‘Spill classic!!
102 comments!! This is such a good read.
102 comments!! This is such a good read.
I just put all 102 comments into the analyzer and it says, collectively, you all write like Arthur C. Clarke. Not a bad result, unless you’re Arthur.
Brilliant! Sorry Arthur.
1. I always judge books by their covers!! And people by their shoes. (Mostly kidding about that) I’d probably be more likely to read a book because I like the cover than not read one because I didn’t, though. Have you ever bought an album because of the cover? (Oh – I think Ejay did a post on one…)
2. David (that’s mr. Steenbeck to you). And my brother Joel, he’s 16 months older – we’ve always been good friends. And increasingly Malcolm and Isaac (they’ve always been my loves and my constant companions, but they’re so funny and fun to be around all of a sudden). Also my parents who are supportive but also very interesting to talk to, being interested in lots of interesting things, as they interestingly are. I have had non-family best friends in my life, but I don’t feel like I do at the moment.
3. Well the little analyzer came up with James Joyce. But I met Seamus Heaney once and he said my poetry reminded him of Basho.
4. My first thought was the drummer from Ween, but that’s a long story. I have to give this one some more thought. Might need two lists…one for people I’d like to work with if I have to be my fumbling, intimidated-by-people self, and then one I could work with if I was cool and talented. I’ll be back with more on this one.
5. I was thinking about people that are just phenomenally good at something. I was thinking about sports figures, but any field would count. Who do you think is “best ever” good at something. If you could be that good at something, what would it be. (Or, you know, if you are already, what is it?)
I did, I still love the cover, still don’t really like the album, it was Autoramas’ Rrrrrrrock!.
And it’s perfectly reasonable to judge people by their shoes.
5. Ideally I would be a master of all trades, but that’s due to my own issues, I’m slowly learning that I don’t need to know everything. However, I would love to be master musician, but I don’t know which instrument, so I’d be a kind of super-producer/arranger. It would also be amazing to be a master craftsman. Mr Steenbeck’s job is actually quite appealing to me.
And it’s perfectly reasonable to judge people by their shoes.
Crap, i wear flip flops with socks.
That’s cool, it’s just that now we know….
Well, i still have a $300 pair of Armanis somewhere, barely worn, but useless now that i live in the boondocks. Still have an Alaia dress or 2 in there too, but i guess it’s been a long time since the 80′s.
Amylee – I don’t want it to seem like my shoe comment was meant in a snobby way. I’ve never owned an expensive pair of shoes in my life!! I was mostly kidding, as I said, but…you know what I mean, right? Not “judge” as in pass judgement….
I feel like I’m digging this hole deeper and deeper, so I’ll just slip off, now…
Steen-
Ha, no, it cracked me up! Which is why i was proud to out myself as one who can sometimes wear socks with flip flops around a boondock town where i don’t have to give a crap what i look like. It’s kind of liberating, my entire wardrobe for the year comes from the New Years day sales at the Gap where shirts are around $6/ea. And then i have a pristine little wardrobe put away with tags still on for when i go away.
Steen-
You have to understand that i laugh at pretty much everything. Most of all myself.
I’m going to stick my neck out here and say I reckon that William Shakespeare is the best ever playwright in the English language. And for another controversial one, looking at Donald Bradman’s batting average makes me shake my head in wonder. For cricket non-comprehenders, statistically he’s about two-thirds as good again as the next best batsman in history. I wish I’d been around.
Usain Bolt clearly belongs to some sort of super-species too.
I think I’d like to be that good at the piano.
I would feel sick if we found out that Usain Bolt’s talents aren’t “au naturel”. Well actually I wouldn’t feel sick because I won’t let myself be convinced that there are no enhancements involved.
@ barbryn
That’s a hat-trick of donds from me. And what a great threesome that would be for a dinner party: Shakespeare, Bradman and Usain Bolt!
On the cricket front, can’t see Murali‘s 800 test wickets being topped, either. That’s mostly due to the man’s exceptional talent, of course, but also to the slow strangulation of the form of cricket in which spin bowlers get to bowl as many overs as Murali has. 20/20? It’s like being forced to watch 5-a-side, 20-minutes-each-way football, because it’s ‘more exciting, and we can get more games in’. Don’t make me laugh….
Not sure if I’d be any good at it, but I always fancied being a polymath …
I couldn’t possibly pick a best ever painter / artist. Just too many.
I would like to be able to sing. I’d settle for being able to carry a tune, but if i could be the best ever at something, then it would be lead guitar, because it’s a bit short of females at the top.
Of course, the risk of the Q.5 approach is that we’ve probably used up a month or more’s worth of EOTWQs by now…
There are still plenty of anorak versions unused, I’m sure we all have our own specialty. They may just take a week or so to think up.
1 – I love images – books and records on impulse purchase from the cover is fine by me. Why do you think I own such randomness.
2 – Vanessa is me bestest mate for the last 20 odd years- gave her away at her wedding (and thank fuck for that- never thought I’d get rid of her)
few other female best mates dotted around.. plus Jon (who became a Papa for the first time yesterday- and I’m chuffed to biscuits for him) I start up where we left off with them all.. after months or even years. But that’s enough.
Ru and Z boy are on an entirely different planet because they put up with me every day.
3 – Cory Doctorow came out on mine – but Leonardo de vinci and his mirror writing is how my Brain registers letter – so I pretty much write back to front in reality.
4 – Tony Allen is the best drummer in the world ever – no question – so he goes into my band then
Hope Sandoval, Björk, Emiliana Torrini, Dean Wareham from Galaxie 500 and Britta Phillips, Jimi Tenor and Kim Deal, Kristin Hersh and Tanya Donelly then Joey Santiago, Black Francis, J Mascis and ME and Bez. …..Sorted… I think I’ve got the Those that do stuff and those in need of a kick up the butt equally spread… (we may need a therapist tagging along)…..enjoy.
5 – Ejaydee: kind of person who inspires a creative thought process?
or cheeky shite – getting credit for other peoples inventiveness?…
(only joking Sir)
Hihi, I’ve been found out, it’s definitely the latter…
By the way, can I ride along in the tour bus of your band please?
worked out perfectly.. just how you planned.
Hop on the bus – could be a short volatile tour though.
1. Still do
2. There seems to be a familiar theme going by the previous answers Mr/Mrs/Ms …
3. Cory Doctorow – boingboing, more like Gerald McBoing-Boing!
4. Theesee are the JBs!!!!!!!!!
5. Clyde Stubblefield of the above (4) to hear James Brown say ‘give the drummer some!’ and being able to do it.
This thread is out of the control, not unlike The Blob.
Maybe it’s all of the pent up postings from those who took a powder on the bike topic.
Oh, thought this must be further ‘Spill stake instructions.
1. Yes, sniffing is unreliable.
2. Crap at keeping in touch – there is a group of about 6 in the UK, that pick up where we last left off without any awkwardness. In the US it’s a similar size group of cigar smoking buddies.
3. Like a Twitter trainee.
4. Supergroups never work. Collaborations can though. Let’s get Mark Stewart & Trent Reznor together for the most ear shattering bleak album in recording history.
5. Do you prefer, blondes, brunettes, redheads or baldies?
And now i can tell you’re a young’un because there isn’t a grey option. Me – recently brunette from blondish with grey. Much better. Others – male.
Don’t look at the hair – it’s what’s inside the head I’m interested in. (Oh, OK: red.)
Redheads for me, on the basis that I married one, followed by brunettes for most purposes, but since Mrs Abahachi has somehow managed to turn into an ash blonde rather than going grey – no artifical products involved – I’d have to vote for that as well.
1. The last book I bought on the strength of its cover was George Bernard Shaw’s ‘Intelligent Woman’s Guide To Socialism & Capitalism’…. In Portobello Market, as a present for Mrs TY. It’s actually a great read, she particularly loves it when I quote from the chapter ‘Your Shopping’. So yes.
2. How do we grow? Other than in relationship? It’s a long hard slog if you’ve got to figure it all out for your self I suppose. There’s something interesting in these loose bonds of virtual friendship which are testing the theories that we can only cope with a finite number of personal relationships . Stemming from a divinely damaged family, I’ve tended to boil these down into a singular few where there is actual trust and intimacy.
3. I put in a work report and came out as H. P. Lovecraft. I put in some H. P. Lovecraft and he came out as Mary Shelley. I’m Mary Lovecraft. Or Red Shelley.
4. Ideal band.
Chris Cutler – Drums
Michael Ward Bergeman Accordion/keyboards
Nic Potter – Bass guitar
Tom Cora – Cello
Eugene Chadbourne – Rhythm guitar
Jacques Brel – Vox
5. Is the end in sight?
No – I haven’t had my turn yet.
What’s the finite number? Given my limited number of decent friendships out in the non-virtual world, I may not be testing the theory very much.
Could be around 200
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20727680.500
see also
How Many Friends Does One Person Need?
And personally I think the writing’s been on the wall since about 1973, it’s just taken slightly longer than expected.
#2
I had actually been thinking about this whole friend thing before this question came up.
I’ve always been very social in real life, though I’m fine with my own company as well. ANYway…I’m probably at some strange point in my life … I think I have less actual (real life) friends than I ever have. Is that because I have two children, and as they grow older they take more time and are more satisfying to spend time with? Possibly.
Sometimes I think it might be every-so-slightly because of RR/’Spill. Maybe in combination it satisfies a communal social need. DON’T LAUGH!
5. Do you prefer, blondes, brunettes, redheads or baldies?
Squirrels – Redheads
Eagles – Baldies
Bieres – Blondes
Bears – Brunettes
1 My brother does book covers and a while ago he had a bit of a run of Antony Burgess and Kingsley Amis. He did ‘The Old Devils’ in hardback, and then when the paperback came out it was the same concept but by a different (presumably cheaper) artist.
As a kid, the first time I went in the adult library I had no notion of what to choose so I picked two very lurid detective novels. Then I was too ashamed to read them.
2 My best friend is Clare – we were introduced at a mutual friend’s party and our sons are roughly the same age. I minded hers before he started school, and he was best man at Matt’s wedding.
The best time in our friendship was when I lived in MK and she had a job in Leamington Spa, where she stayed during the week (she lives in Shrewsbury). We took to going to the theatre together in Stratford. At first we would just pick our favourite of the Shakespeares they had on, and go once a season. Gradually we built it up till we were going to all the Shakespeare plays in the season; and finally all the plays in all 3 venues. It was expensive, mind. Those were the days.
3 I put in two and came out as Stephen King and Gertrude Stein. So what those two have in common is me!
4 RT on guitar, and Jerry Douglas on dobro. Phil Beer on fiddle, because I don’t think Swarb is well enough. Jean-Pierre Rasle on pipes, Garry W Tallent on bass and Keith Langford (Gourds) on drums. I would sing of course and we’d all have a damned good time.
5 If people, computers and pets are safe, what would you go back into your burning house for?
Buffy, my lovely guitar. Plus all the things that Mrs Abahachi would want: the portrait of MsStepAbahachi with our eldest cat, the framed maps, the fairing, the French sideboard…
You called your guitar Buffy?
Well, she’s blond and beautiful, and I like playing with her…
I would go back in for your whiskey, if it happened to be in my cellar.. highly inflammable stuff, whiskey.
Otherwise..
28 lovingly constructed houses, masks, animals, marble chutes, sculptures, mobiles, and model playgrounds strewn throughout the flat.
52 assorted soft toys.
Sandra’s hand made or inherited clothing and rugs.
A hardback copy of “One of the 28th” by G.A. Henty, given to me by my grandfather and now over 100 yrs old.
A painting of Otago peninsula given to me by a friend.
My photo albums, negatives, and camera.
Both of our design folios.
Assorted kitchenware, esp. the Elektra espresso machine.
The green sofa…
I really hope it doesn’t burn here anytime soon.
Come on, nilpferd, you can get another espresso machine. And you are never going to have my whisky.
Camera system and binders filled with slides. And coffee can filled with cash.
I would save my Sasha dolls (I doubt that the insurance company would believe they’re worth £15,000) and my mother’s photograph album and WW2 album.
That’s a very cruel thing to say, TFD.
And regarding the espresso machine, I’ve just got it nicely worked in.. that takes years of effort, you know.
How do you think I feel, with you lot plotting to relieve me of my hard-earned whisky?
Plotting?! I was only offering to store it for you, interims-wise, until you got your digs sorted… of course, there would bound to have been a bit of evaporation…
Offers still open, regardless..
I’ll bet that suave TY’s been at you with his statistics, besmirching my good name… I’m off to bed, in a huff.
Make that a minute and a huff.
Suave yes, but she’s not easily suede.
whisky wow wow … this is a deadly game, have a few laughs and go home.
AMYLEE’S GOT A COFFEE CAN FILLED WITH CASH!!
(remind me never to make espresso at your place)
Yeah, that’s the bank of the coffee can, i can be a bit lazy about getting to the bank. Or i should say bank of the rent, i throw it in there over the course of the month, then empty it around the 1st and start over.
BLOODY HELL!! Almost 200 comments!!!!!!!!
I’m supposed to be packing tonight – in fact I’m supposed to be in bed already, because I start my 5-yearly instructor refresher course tomorrow in Wolverhampton at 9am – how the hell am I supposed to catch up with this sprawling epic?
I only popped back to say that I had another go at the writing analyzer after someone expressed the suspicion that the program was rather limited.
Anyone remember the spoof I did of Dr. Seuss’ Oh, The Places You’ll Go in a RR-stylee? I pasted that in, and was told it was like … yep, Cory Doctorow!!
So I think I’m tempted to ignore the analyzer’s findings, except that I think I’m the only one whose writing has been compared to the “disturbing” Chuck Palahniuk.
Yeah that’s you; Fork Lift Chuck.
Nice one, TY.
Glad you found it palatable DsD
*GROAN!* Now don’t push yer luck; that one’s a bit of a Reach.
@DsD – I’m afraid you’re not the only Chuck any more. This mad thread has kept me sane for the duration of a 65-page must-be-done-overnight scientific copyedit. Anyway, I’m now finished, and thought I’d paste some of it into the analyzer. Whaddya know – Chuck Palahniuk.
I’m beginning to have serious doubts about it (though I do love the idea of treefrogdemon as a cross between Stephen King and Gertrude Stein).
Oh, and I’d save my violin and Innis’s favourite (horrible plastic) doll from a fire. Redheads have figured disproportionately in my lovelife, and I’m married to one.
Next week’s EOTWQ has already been rewritten once to reduce music content. Three of the rewritten questions have now been Q5ed. Have mercy, people!
206 comments!
That’s international relations in action, Ejay!
Thanks for kicking off a brilliant thread, nay, tapestry, ejay.
Vince (the fox)’s best line in tonight’s Mongrels:
Nah, I never eat anything I’ve just f*cked.
It’s a tip I got from Delia.
Where’s Blimpy? He’s going to have a bird when he checks his stats.
This has been great, thanks everybody for playing along, of course I have been hoisted by own petard, since as the writer of the post, I get emails in that horrible format that doesn’t indicate what comments are in response to. I’ve lost track of what I need to respond to.
Hey it was worth it anyway!
Fantastic thread ejay – I think it’s a new record. It is brilliant when everyone joins in. Well done and thanks.
Is it too late to replace my rather boring answer to number 2 with Courtney Cox?
Bugger, I missed all the fun
so did I
I’m jolly well going to post my imaginary band though…
Mary Coughlan
John Martyn
Jah Wobble
Nitin Sawhney
Sly Dunbar
I’ll give that lot ten minutes before a fight breaks out.
Oh and I am both Arthur Conan Doyle and Margaret Atwood….
Still plenty of fun to be had debby and severin, i’ve got a couple of imaginary bands I’m thinking of.
God, where have I been?
Bob Marley on Spoons. Arthur Conan Doyle on knives and forks. And “Mongrels” is so odd … and there were two badgers mating in our garden last night. Oh, and I’d try and save a few photos.
Photos of the badgers, Ali? He asked, disingenuously…
Want to thank Ejaydee too for the fun, and can’t resist the temptation to have yet another email sent to his inbox.
OK, well I, too, would like to be part of the longest thread in RR history, so here goes…
Question 1
Have you ever actually judged a book by its cover?
Yes, I do this all the time. There’s a corner of the Hamburg central library dedicated to books in English and I whizz down the first aisle, up the second, grabbing anything bonbon coloured and pristine from the shelves – shamelessly regardless of content.
Question 2
Who’s your best friend?
Lives as far away from me as it’s possible to get without actually crossing any borders, so we don’t see each other more than twice a year, but we keep the emails flowing.
Question 3
Who do you write like?
Lemony Snicket. I used a different quiz to ejay’s, though, and much preferred this answer to being H.P. Lovecraft (in my next life I’d like to have enough imagination to write books for children).
Question 4
Who would you recruit in your ideal band?
Danny Thompson, Bert Jansch, a young drummer I once heard playing with a jazz combo on the market square in Thiviers, June Tabor, Linda Thompson and Hope Sandoval alternating on vocals. Richard Thompson and Eliza Carthy as guest musicians on a couple of numbers.
Or, the original Blood Sweat & Tears line-up with Al Kooper and Randy Brecker.
Question 5
This is hard, make up your own question please
Is ANYONE still reading this?!
Question 5 a)
How can I cheer myself up about Q.2?
By going on to Q. 3…
Question 5 b)
When was the last time you laughed so much it hurt?
It always hurts when I laugh…
Question 5 c)
Is anyone in the Wolverhampton area this Weds or Thurs for a drink after work?
I only wish I were…
Question 5 d)
What’s the best album you ever bought completely on spec ?
Rory McLeod – Footsteps and Heartbeats, fished out of a bargain bin for less than 5 DM (back then)…
Question 5 e)
Who’s Your Daddy?
Brian the One-Man Blues Band, currently entertaining expats in the Limousin (former jazz bassist, jazz trumpeter, skiffler)…
Question 5 f)
Tea and toast, or coffee and cake?
Tea and toast every time, especially if there’s marmite lurking (sorry, TB!)…
Question 5 g)
You’ve just returned from vacation or holiday & still have a couple days of clean clothes left in your suitcase. Do they go back in the drawers or closet, in the wash or stay in the suitcase till you’ve used ‘em?
In the wash. I spend an inordinate amount of time seeing to washing…
Question 5 h)
Who is your favourite….
(a) Simpsons character
(b) Toy Story character
(c) Muppet?
Lisa… Woody (he’s the cowboy, right?)… Ernie or Bert (no longer remember which one’s which)
Question 5 i)
Ok, you’ve picked your dream band. Now pick your band from hell.
Westlife ‘duetting’ with Mariah Carey would come close…
Question 5 j)
Do you have a cutlery drawer and, if so, do you have knives, then forks, or forks, then knives? Or a big muddle?
We have a plastic tray thing on the kitchen worktop, because it won’t fit in a drawer. It has three long ‘grooves’ housing spoons on the left, forks in the middle and knives on the right. There’s a smaller ‘groove’ across the bottom, where the teaspoons live. I have actually quite shocked myself at my shortness of breath reading other people’s answers to this – looks like I could only ever share a kitchen with barbryn…
Question 5 k)
When was the last time you hand-wrote someone a letter, and what (roughly) was the subject?
I often write letters or send postcards (“I’m just an old-fashioned girl”). The last one was an invitation to a picnic for TheBoyWonder’s godmothers (he has 2 godmothers but no godfather)…
Question 5 l)
What was your college major?
At the University of Manchester – being miserable (was supposed to be German); at the University of Hamburg – eating lunch at the canteen (was supposed to be a German/social anthropology/American studies combo)
Question 5 m)
What’s the hottest thing you can recall eating?
A friend had just come back from visiting her husband’s family in Burkins Faso and had a tupperware pot of Something Spicy – the tiniest taste blew the top off my mouth…
Question 5 n)
Does anybody here remember “Billy Bean & His Funny Machine” (without Googling it)?
Sorry, Mitch, never ever even heard of this…
Question 5 o)
In the light of the fact that you actually can judge a book by its cover, what proverb or saying particularly annoys you?
I always hated ‘you can’t have your cake and eat it’. As a child I could never understand how you were supposed to be able to eat cake if you didn’t have any in the first place…
Question 5 p)
When you go food shopping, do you have a pre-planned route around the shop – or do you let the mood take you?
I shop at the (farmers) market – problem solved!
Question 5 q)
If you could be that good at something, what would it be. (Or, you know, if you are already, what is it?)
I would love to be able to sing – well enough to prevent those within hearing range cringeing would do…
Question 5 r)
Ejaydee: kind of person who inspires a creative thought process?
or cheeky shite – getting credit for other peoples inventiveness?…
Person with possibly the most fun EOTWQ ever…
Question 5 s)
Do you prefer, blondes, brunettes, redheads or baldies?
Disproportionate amount of redheads in my life…
Question 5 t)
Is the end in sight?
Have you got your glasses on?…
Question 5 u)
If people, computers and pets are safe, what would you go back into your burning house for?
Absolutely nothing at all…
Q5: yes
Me too. But I’m afraid that I don’t think Ernie and/or Bert is a valid answer to Q.5.h.c: they may have been made by the same people, but they were on Sesame Street, not the Muppets. Yes, I am a sad pedant.
Dedication!
Indeed, kudos to debby for answering ALL the questions.
How brilliant to read right to the bottom of this leviathan and find Aba being a pedant!
Having said that, though, Aba – I think you may find that Muppets is a generic term, coined by Jim Henson to brand his Hand-Rod Puppets that had one hand controlling the main body and facial features and one moving the limbs about, hence the discordant arm-flapping we all love. So The Muppet Show was a show performed by muppets, but similarly-designed characters on Sesame Street and, for that matter, Fraggle Rock or The Hoobs could also be called muppets.
Yeah, I just looked that up.
Hmph. I’ll reserve judgement on this until I’ve conducted some research into the term’s popular usage, rather than accepting Heson’s attempt at imposing his own understanding on the discourse. Meaning is realised at the point of reception, you know.
Popular usage of the term muppet? Urban Dictionary gives us this:
Muppet (n.)
1. A person who is ignorant and generally has no idea about anything.
Don’t talk to me like ya know me, ya muppet
2. A person who defies explanation with regard to common sense and logic, exhubing an air of confidence that is mutually exclusive to that of their accomplishments or ability
what the hell is Emma doing, can she not see that if im not at my desk I can not answer my phone, she is such a fucking muppet
3. Someone who is useless until you shove your fist up them – Just like Kermit !
He’s a complete muppet
I can’t find any other usage of the word “exhubing”. Possibly from the Greek hubris.
Having trained and worked as a puppeteer/marionetteer/muppeteer quite a few years ago, I’m backing May on this one, I’m afraid. Within the discipline a puppet is controlled by a hand within the body, a marionette by strings or rods outside the body. ‘Muppet’ was the generic term coined by Henson, as his creations were a combination of the two, and so anything worked in this manner is a muppet.
Although Indonesian puppet theatres have been using the combined hand-up-the-arse & rod technique for centuries before Henson came up with it…
Okay, I’m a sad, ill-informed pedant; Exodus’ explanation convinces me completely. As for ‘exhubing’, my guess would be a misprint for ‘exuding’, which makes sense in context. In classical Greek there is a transitive verb connected to hubris, but it means treating someone with overbearing pride and presumption – you wouldn’t do it to an air of confidence.
Will shut up now.
CHORUS: Oedipus, Oedipus, why do you exhube that air of confidence?
Do you think you can outwit the prophecies of Appollo?
You fucking muppet.
Sophocles, Oedipus Rex
Barbryn – genius. I’m laughing so hard I am very nearly in pain.
I just put my Muppet post through the analyser, and it’s Edgar Allan Poe. The opening paragraphs of the funding application I’m currently working on, however, is H.P. Lovecraft. I just hope the AGMA grants unit is ready for it.
Fab new game, exodus – I just put my Muppet post in and I came out as Vladimir Nabokov! Now to try the job application I’m supposed to be working on…..
….Yep, Application Form English is truly the Devil’s forked tongue. It’s another score for Lovecraft.
Tee hee – the genealogy programme I use generates ‘reports’ in a sort of stilted computery language, and apparently it’s like Margaret Mitchell.
phew!! That was immense!
A great read and very clever Ejay, inventing the never ending EOTWQ
5) how was Scandinavia – Panther, have a good time?
(or did you get dragged around carrying stuff!)
not too bad thanks Shane!
The great weather made it seem like the first time in many years that i’d had any kind of summer holiday.
Of course there was much carrying of heavy stuff and only getting 4 hours sleep a night and running to catch busses that only come once every 2 hours, but i’m kinda used to it now…..and I also got to see to hear some open-air live Swedish hip-hop and eat a nice meal overlooking a beautiful lake at a still-not-dark 10pm…..so it wasn’t all bad
One of the most interesting aspects of this joyful thread has been the ‘I Write Like’ sections. The software has come in for some criticism, so in the interests of science I put the I Write Like Analyser to the ultimate test, and I have to say, it did quite well.
I discovered that:
H P Lovecraft writes like H P Lovecraft
Stephen King writes like H P Lovecraft
James Joyce writes like James Joyce
David Foster Wallace writes like Stephen King
Charles Dickens writes like Charles Dickens
Anthony Trollope writes like Mary Shelley
Mark Twain writes like Mark Twain
William Shakespeare writes like William Shakespeare
Jane Austen writes like Jane Austen
Oscar Wilde writes like Oscar Wilde
Edgar Allen Poe writes like Mary Shelley (I love that one!)
Thomas Hardy writes like ……. Dan Brown!!!!!
OK, with the exception of the last one (I had to stop then – I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry) I think the Analyzer did a pretty good job and it shows two things:
1) It has a wider range of writers than we thought
2) Collectively, we have a narrower writing style than we thought
If I remember a newspaper article from a year or two ago correctly, the theory behind the literary analyser has to do with the length of sentences and the proportion of verbs to nouns combined with the frequency of a selected top ten unusual words, or something like that.
My (question no. 2) friend’s novel comes out as George Orwell, which in any case is better than my complete blog history being compared to Wallace.
Sheesh, I go away for a week and a Spill post gets 250 comments?! I can’t quite face reading them all now but respect, ejay and pals!
Bishbosh!!! Welcome back.
Thanks steen! Had a lovely break but I can’t tell you how much willpower it took to stop myself sneaking into an internet cafe over the weekend just to check and see what the RR topic was – how sad is that?! I think I may be addicted…
We have support groups for that, Bishbosh. You’re in good company. Well, maybe not “good” but plentiful, certainly.
I managed to get a link once in Zimbabwe – found the topic was Africa – then couldn’t get connected again – have I mentioned this before?
am I still bitter?
steen ‘plentiful’ is correct.
I thought you were in RRehab, detoxing from RR after suddenly realising you’d attended a picnic with complete strangers, good to see you.
See, we’re not strangers, are we?
*Rolls up silken sleeves and stares hard at the questions*
1) I suppose I must have done but I can’t think of a single example.
2) My best friend died of lung cancer when we were both 35 years old. We’d known each other since school. We both got into punk rock in the late seventies. I was the second person he came out to after his brother. When he died his husband (his term) became a close friend. Well, he already was but a closer one. I still think of both of them as my best friends.
3 & 4 – I refer the right honourable members to the answers I gave a few hours before.
5) I just had a shufty at the Marconium and realised that the only time I ever got two songs into the playlist was when the subject was “anxiety”. Has this blog ever thrown up a home-truth on those lines for yerself?
@ severin – Has this blog ever thrown up a home-truth on those lines for yerself?
I’d like to think my treble A-listing in Songs About Smiling week would qualify, but I think I’d be deluding myself.
Certainly, my ever-expanding waistline would mock at any claims I make for the A-list double I’ve just found in the Bicycle A-list.
5) oh yes, and it was Anxiety, I think, whichever was the one with the Jeffrey Lewis song by the same name, that song is great, but I can’t listen to it, much too close to home. IN terms of A-listing, I didn’t do too bad for sexy songs… ladies?…
I got a sexy song.. but my only multiple listing was for.. er.. insulting songs.
So just watch out, people!!
3 A-listings for Failure is a conundrum that’ll be squatting on my shoulders as I stagger through my middle years.
I’ve had 2 double A-listings – once for the Sea, and once for Holidays, when both songs were about the seaside. That makes my total A-listers 20% maritime. Is it in any way significant that I live by the sea?
Well, no, probably not.
Multiple listings for History, which could be put down to non-amateur status, and for Surrealism, which is lobster.
1) Interestingly, the answer to this is ‘no I havent’. I dont let a bookcover fool me – which is very useful out here in Eastern Europe where there is a tradition of garish bookcover designs to beat the band
2) It is a tough question. My mum first of all. Then Anita (my close confidante here in Hungary) and then, probably…(breaks down in horror at the fact that he doesnt seem to have one male best friend anymore..) blub and thrice blub
3) Apparently, I write like HP Lovecraft – whoever that is.
4) Band: Erm, I’d probably recruit the whole of Television, since they would appear to have everything I would look for in a band
5) Have you ever been walking along the pavement, begun talking to yourself about something very briefly and found yourself passing a car parked next to the pavement with someone just sitting there, staring at you talking to yourself – and you didnt see them until it was too late because of reflections on the windscreen? Bit odd I know – but I can believe im the only one..
Well I regularly talk to myself in short bursts, or just utter a sound, something to take my mind off uncomfortable thoughts. Not sure I’ve ever been caught though.
I do it all the time.
(and now that someone came up with the bright idea of a computer to type those idiotic thoughts into – it’s all suddenly legitimate- but really I could just be talking to myself – “nurse my jacket, 10 minutes until you let me out for my RR weekend – yes I’ve taken the correct dose – I know, last weekend was a mistake.. I will be more careful”)
the last time I was talking to a car next to Pavement – the pills had got mixed up.
I like to work with my office door open, so that I know what’s going on, and so does the woman opposite me. So when I’ve been talking to myself, which I frequently do, I quite often glance across and see her looking at me with a quizzical expression.
At home of course I can just pretend I’m talking to the cat.
Still need to know how EJD got that pic of my “reading room”?
Ohhhh …. is that what it is. I’ve spent all week thinking it was a very ambitious en-suite, Bumble Bee Hotel ; and also mighty impressed by the size of Ejaydee’s bees.
Ejaydee’s bees
That was so nice to type; rolled off the fingers. Have you ever thought of going into the honey business Ejaydee? I’d buy acacia honey from Ejaydee’s Bees – the outfit whose Bee sides are as good as their A sides.
Ejaydee’s Bees, our honey’s the bees’ knees!
Just put PaulMac’s A list column through the shredder – apparently he’s HP Lovecraft in disguise.